Page 31 - My FlipBook

and continued on his journey to discover the 'Great Beer
Planet'. He was unaware he had already discovered it, in a
manner of speaking.

Countless millennia passed. When a ship travels at such a great
speed as his cute pink triangle was, things inside the ship take
place at one speed and everything on the outside takes place
at a much higher rate. So, it had been a few billion years when
Gnurdleigh’s ship once again stopped so he could pee and
reinsert his catheter once more. He looked at the coordinates
and saw that the ship had gone in a huge circle. He was right
back where he had been last time he peed. He realized that
when he programmed the location of the water planet into the

console, he created a ‘favorite’. When the computer needed a
place to stop and let him pee, it defaulted to the ‘favorites’ list
and chose the closest one, giggling to itself the entire wasted
trip there. Since there was only one ‘favorite’ it was the only
choice on the list and now billions of years’ worth of fuel had
been spent essentially going in a pink circle. His frustration was
inversely proportional to the navigational system’s smug

satisfaction. The Drunk Monks said:

Circling back to the world he alone created with a
single squirt of his divine ding-dong, the great listener
gave his innocence and his appendage for us, that we
might live, and live true, listening to the divine as he
did, tasting this awesome beer and gaining our spiritual
inheritance. Bottoms up!

Allan R. Emery 21