Page 30 - My FlipBook

Back out in an unknown area of space, Gnurdleigh was hurtling
along and vibrating with his out of tune engine in his bright
pink spaceship. The catheter used in suspended animation
vibrated out. Shortly afterward, the ship slowed down

disappointedly and woke Gnurdleigh from his lace-framed
velvet-lined suspended-animation pod, quite unnecessarily
abruptly, so he could pee. Since the toilet on the ship was
broken, he either had to pee in a bottle or land on a planet,
moon or asteroid. Since there was a planet nearby, Gnurdleigh
decided to land and pee there. The landing was uneventful. He
donned a suit and breathing apparatus then opened the airlock
to step outside. The automated pilot muttered, “Bloody twit!”
as he exited. It was a barren planet of rock and water. He

whipped it out, peed, and climbed back into the ship, which
was computing tens upon thousands of insults to his person as
it waited, settling upon, "Gay bait!". Throughout the rest of the
universe billions of golden showers were simultaneously
performed in what became known in folklore as “The Night of
the Leaky Bladders”. In some cultures, where bladders were
abnormally large, drowning’s were reported. Gnurdleigh waking

up made the fantasies even stronger and more detailed for the
rest of the universe. After relieving himself, Gnurdleigh greedily
programmed the coordinates of this planet into his navigational
system for future reference. Water was very valuable and this
place was loaded with it. Then he uncomfortably reinserted his
catheter, lay in his velvet coffin, put his bright pink ship on
automatic pilot again, for which it was very grateful, though
only as grateful as one can be towards someone one hates,

20 BeerQuest