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Sefer Chafetz Chayim םייח ץפח רפס
Hilchot Esurei Lashon Hara ערה ןושל ירוסיא תוכלה
Kelal Het - Halachah 10 ב הכלה - ט ללכ

suspect that what he heard might be the truth. (In this situation he ןיד עגונ ול םגש ינפמ הזב ותלאשב אוה חרכומש
should not speak to his wife using language that describes these
men with certainty. Rather, he should say to her “I heard such and .םעט הזיאמ הזה הרות
such about so and so, therefore you should be careful not to extend שריפ ןכ .ףיעסה ףוס דע 'וכו הברמ אוה )ה(
credit to them). However, except for this situation there are no other
exceptions to this rule. םדא רפסי לאד ארמימה )א"ע ו"ט( ןיכרעב י"שר

(Many people make this mistake and tell their wives what happened )ב"ע ד"סק( ב"ב ם"בשרה שריפ ןכו ,ל"נה 'וכו
between themselves and so and so in the Beit Midrash or in the ונווכ םלוכו ,תבשד ב"פ ף"ירה בתכ ןכו אב ה"ד
business world (24). Now, besides violating the esur of Lashon הנומ היה אוה תובאב ןנתד אהמ ישקית אלד בשייל
Hara, he also promotes the controversy because she certainly will
bear a hateful grudge against so and so and will argue with that ברל אבר היל חבתשמ ).'מ ףד( ק"בב ןכו ,ןחבש
person or with the members of his household. Moreover, she will .אוה לודג םדאד בקעי רב אחא ברדב ןמחנ
also incite her husband to go back and fight even more with him and
eventually she herself will humiliate that person for what he did to ,רוסא וחבשב הברמ וניא םא וליפא םימעפלד ,עדו
her husband. Therefore anyone who wants to protect his soul will רכינ ויחבש ךותמו ,תולעמ הזיאב וחבשמש ןוגכ
be very careful not disclose to his wife these kinds of things).
אוהה שיאה יפל יוארש תולעמ ראשמ רסח אוהש
.הלכ ה"ד )א"ע ז"י( תובותכ תופסות ןייעו
Be’er Mayim Chayim

(K8/10/1)-(24) .. in the Beit Midrash or in the business world: םייחה רוקמ
This specific case is mentioned in Sefer Avot De’Rebbe Natan at the end
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of the 7 perek as follows: “Don’t talk excessively with that woman… רוּסא םיִבּרַבּ לבא ,םיִבּרַבּ וֹחבַּשְׁמ וֹניא םִא ,הז לכו .ב
what is the case being discussed? [Answer] When a man enters the Beit ָ ָ ָ ֲ ָ ְ ֵ ֶ ָ ְ
Midrash and people don’t extend to him the respect he feels he is entitled ליגרָ םיִבּרַ םיִשׁנא תבִּסְמִבּ יִכּ ,)םינפאה לכבּ( ינוגּ לכבּ )ו(
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to, or he argued with his colleague – he should not return home and say to
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his wife ‘This was the dispute I had with so and so,’ because in so doing ידֵי לעו ,םיִאנּקְַמ וֹא םיִליִאְמְשׂמוּ םיניִמימ םָשׁ אצמִּהל
he disgraces both himself and his colleague. His wife, who had always
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respected him will now mock him, etc.” ץֹפּחי םִאו .*וֹתוּנגִבּ רפּסל וּאוֹבי )ז( ויָחָבְשִׁבּ ריִכְּזַיֶּשׁ
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There is no basis for permitting this if the matter was (publicly) disclosed קידּצו רֵשׁכל עדוֹנו םיִבּרַל קזחה רבכּ רֶשׁא ,םדא חבַּשׁל
before three people (the leniency of “in the presence of three people” is not אנּקְַמוּ אנוֹשׂ ינְפּ לע םגּ ,המְשׁאו הערָ וֹבּ אצְמנ אלֹ רֶשׁאו
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applicable here) because it is well known that human nature is such that the
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speaker will rationalize the matter and present arguments and demonstrate ,לֹכּה וּעדְי ,וּהנּגי םִאו ,וֹתוֹנּגל לכוּי אלֹ יִכּ ,וֹחבַּשׁל שׁי
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why so and so committed a “crime” \ sin, and it is commonly known that
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the leniency of “in the presence of three people” is not relevant in such a .אוָשׁ רבּדּ ויִפּ רֶשׁא
case. Please see above, the 2 Kelal, the 9 halacha. Besides all this, the
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speaker intensifies the level of the controversy, as I wrote above.
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