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overboard with your gift, after all it acceptable, and some cases exactly
is the thought that counts. Suitable what the deceased would have
gifts include; flowers, a donation to wanted.
the charity of the family’s choice,
or you can make a commitment of Overindulge - if food or drink is
service to the family at a later date. served, do not over do it. Have a bite
A commitment of service can be to eat before you go to the service,
something as simple as cooking them you do not want to be that guy
dinner, or offering to clean up their parked at the snack table. If alcohol
house, any of the “little” things that is served, limit yourself to one or
may be neglected while a family deals two, do not become inebriated and
with death. Make sure you provide a risk doing something inappropriate.
signed card so the family knows who
gave the gift.
Understanding Grief
Keep in touch - you may feel that the The death of a loved one, friend or
family needs their space time to grieve, family member often puts us in touch
but a simple phone call or note after with our own thoughts and feelings
the funeral lets the family know you about mortality. All of a sudden we
care. With social networking leaving a realize how quickly life can end.
time and location, final disposition and Do: quick note is as simple as a click of a It is normal to feel out-of-control
if charitable donations are requested. Express your condolences - it’s not mouse. The months following a death and overwhelmed. Realize you are
Remember, most newspapers charge easy to come up with the words to is when grieving friends and family grieving.
for death notices, and they charged offer sympathy to someone who has need the most support.
are by the line. Each line contains just lost a loved one. You don’t need The first step towards regaining a
approximately four words. The funeral to be a poet, simply saying something Dont: sense of control is to understand grief.
director will assist you in creating the like “I am sorry for your loss, my Bring your cell phone - your phone Grief is a physical, social, emotional,
correct format and editing in order to thoughts and prayers are with you ringing will be highly inappropriate psychological and spiritual reaction
minimize charges. and your family” is enough. If you and will cause a disturbance, so turn to loss. It is natural, normal and
can’t be at a funeral service in person, any ringers or notifications off. Even necessary. It may cause a variety of
Writing an obituary is a difficult and sending a card of leaving a message better, leave your phone at home or reactions, including:
emotional task. First, you will need on a memorial website is a perfect in your car, a funeral is not the time to
to gather information from family way to express your sympathy. be texting or checking your messages. • Feeling tired and irritable. You
and friends of the deceased about may experience insomnia or feel
their childhood, education, career Dress appropriately - gone are the Allow your children to be a distraction tired all the time.
and hobbies and interests. As well, days of dressing up in all black for a - from a very young age children are • Appetite changes. You may or may
speak to the funeral home to receive funeral, but jeans and a t-shirt isn’t aware of death and if the funeral is not feel hungry.
any important information on the exactly acceptable either. You should for someone that was close them • Feelings of anxiousness. You
date, time and location of any funeral still dress to impress and avoid any (grandparent, aunt, uncle) they may feel worried and excited at
service, or other funeral related bright or flashy colors. Wearing what should be given the option to attend. the same time; like your heart is
events. you would wear for a wedding or a However, if it is not appropriate for racing and you cannot “catch your
job interview would be the most your child to be there and if you feel breath”.
appropriate. they will cause a commotion, leave • Feelings of emptiness. You may
Funeral Etiquette them with a babysitter. feel hollow inside. It may be
Like everything in society, funeral Sign the register book - the family will hard to concentrate or remember
etiquette and what is expected of keep the register book as a memento Be afraid to remember the good things.
you has evolved over time. As always for years. Be sure to include your times - funeral are obviously a time • Feeling out-of-control. You may
common sense and good discretion full name and relationship to the of grieving and mourning, but feel helpless, angry or frightened.
is the best guide to proper funeral deceased. remembering the good times helps
etiquette. Here are a few do’s and with the healing process. Sharing All of these feelings are normal.
don’ts of funeral etiquette. Give a gift - you don’t need to go a funny and appropriate story is Your whole world has changed. You

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