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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה # 2808
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 5 - Lesson 4 ה רמאמ - י ֶעי ֶב ְר ר ִר ִׁ
held a sefer in his hands during all of his meals and paid no attention ר ָז ָח פֶי ַד ֲע ,ה ָנֶּא ֶר ָה ה ָפוּר ְתּ ַבּ ט ָר ְפ ֶבּ , ָהי ִרּה תי ֵבּ ם ֶע ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה
to his wife sitting right next to him. Even with all of a wife’s desire
that her husband should be a diligent-learner, still his behavior ם ֵה ם ֶא .תּפוּכ ְתּ םי ֶתּ ֶע ְל ם ָל ְצ ִא ַח ֵר ָא ְת ֶה ְל ת ִֶ ִקּ ַב ְמ אי ֶה ְו ,דֹא ְמ
certainly hurts her emotionally. ּא ,םּי םּי ם ָל ְצ ִא ר ֵקּ ַב ְל ה ָלוּל ֲע אי ֶה םּר ָמ ת ַב ְר ֶר ְבּ םי ֶר ָגּ
ּמ ְצ ַע ת ִא ֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה .תּכּ ֻר ֲא פּפ ִל ִט תּחיֹ ֶש ם ָמּ ֶע ל ֵה ַנ ְל
ל ַע ְו ,הּ ָתי ֵב ְבּ הּ ָמּר ְמ ר ַקּ ֶע ת ִא תא ֵצּמ הּ ָני ֵא פֶי ַד ֲע ִֶ ל ַע ,ע ַגּ ְפ ֶנ
םי ֶר ֶָ ְקּ ַה ת ִא ם ֵצ ְמ ַצ ְל ה ִצּר ּא ,ךְ ָכּ ל ַע ת ִרֹקּ ֶבּ ַעי ֶמ ְֶ ַמ פ ֵכּ
Chapter 5 - Lesson 4 ת ַר ָב ֲע ַה ְל י ֶכּ ,תוּנ ָל ְב ַס ְבּ ל ַע ַבּ ַה א ָנ ר ֵזּ ַא ְתֶי .ה ִל ֵא ַה םי ֶרוּד ֲה ַה
,ה ִז ָבּ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל רֹז ֲע ַל לּכָי ל ַע ַבּ ַה .פ ַמ ְז ֶוּר ָדּ םיֶיּ ֶֶ ְג ֶר םי ֶר ֶָ ְר
Emotional hurt feelings of oppression that are ךְֹׁ ְֶ ֶל ְו ַחֹתּ ְפ ֶל ר ֵתּי הּ ָל ר ֵֶ ְפ ַאְיּ ִֶ "יוּצּ ֶר ְו ה ָחיֹ ֶש יוּבּ ֶר" י ֵדְי ל ַע
caused by the husband. תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה ַה ב ַצּ ַמ ל ִא ר ֵתּי ר ֵה ַמ וּאּבָי ְו ,וי ָנ ָפ ְל ּבּ ֶל ת ִא
ה ָרוֶּ ְר א ֵה ְתּ ִֶ" ]'ו 'ט י ֵל ְֶ ֶמ[ לי ֵע ְל א ָבוּמּ ַה א" ָר ְגּ ַה ר ַמ ָא וי ָל ָע ִֶ
With all of a wife’s desire that her husband will be the final authority
guiding the family, on occasion it is likely that the emotions of a ."הּ ָמּ ֶא ְו ָהי ֶב ָא ל ִא ֵמ ר ֵתּי הּ ָל ְע ַב ְבּ
woman will be aroused when her husband abuses his position in
their relationship. The husband must be doubly on guard of his ה ִצּר אי ֶה - "תי ֶנ ָתְיּ ַצ" אי ֶה ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ִֶ ֶ ָר ְד ֶמ ּתּא ְבּ אָבוּמ
own behavior at all times not to say or do anything to provoke his
wife’s feelings of emotional hurt. In this context we can understand פ ֵכ ָל ,הּ ָלּ ִֶ גוּח ַבוּ הּ ָבי ֶב ְס ה ִרּקּ ִשּׁ ה ַמ ל ָכ ְבּ ת ִנ ִכּ ְד ֻע ְמ תּי ְה ֶל
Chazal’s teaching in Masechet Kallah (at the beginning of the fifth וי ָני ֵע ְבּ ִֶ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ֵֶי .ם ָגוּח ְבּ ה ִרּקּ ַה ל ַע הּ ָל ר ֵׁ ַס ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ ל ַע ַבּ ַה
chapter) “A man should be especially on guard of himself in relation
to everyone, and more than anyone else in regard to the women ל ָכ ְכוּ .ם ָתּא ת ַע ַד ָל בוֶּ ָח הּ ָלי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ ל ָב ֲא ,םי ֶבוֶּ ֲח ם ָני ֵא
of the house” in order not to cause them to feel that he wants to ת ֵחּׁ ,ם ִה ָלּ ִֶ ה ָלּ ֶה ְקּ ַבּ ה ִרּקּ ַה ל ָכ ְבּ ר ֵתּי ת ִנ ִכּ ְד ֻע ְמ אי ֶה ִֶ
dominate them.
.םי ֶר ֵח ֲא י ֶׁ ֶמ תֶּ ָד ֲח ַעֹמ ְֶ ֶל ְו תֶי ַבּ ַה פ ֶמ תא ֵצ ָל ף ַח ַדּ ַה הּ ָל ְצ ִא
Chazal teach in Gemara Chulin (84b) “A man should always eat
and drink less than his means could afford, and dress and clothe
himself according to his means, and honor his wife and children,
meaning, to provide for all of their needs at a level more than he
can afford, (Rashi: He should dress himself according to his means
so that he does not embarrass himself, and provide for his wife in
a manner more than he can afford) since they are dependent on
him and he is dependent on the One-who-spoke-and-created-the-
world.” One must understand this Gemara since all of them are
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