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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander
A Peaceful Home
Chapter 5 - Lesson 5
hand she does not want to give up on her own sense of self-worth.
Therefore, she is much more susceptible to being emotionally hurt
by her husband than by someone else. This is something we would
not have anticipated, but because she is so emotionally tied to
him her emotions are much more fragile in regard to him than to
someone else.
These words are certainly directed to husbands to be very careful in
the honor they give their wives, as a wife’s emotional self-esteem
must be nourished by her husband. She goes out of her home to
work to earn the money to support a large segment of the family’s
expenses, and at times she has an important position outside of the
house. In this regard Chazal have cautioned the husband – A man
must always be careful not to oppress his wife.

Chapter 5 - Lesson 5
Her oppression is close.
Rashi explains “Her oppression is close” as “When emotional
oppression occurs punishment quickly follows.” The Gemara
illustrates this in Masechet Ketubot (62b) “Rav Rachumi was
learning with Rava in the city of Mechuzah. He would routinely
return home every Erev Yom Kippur. Once it happened that their
learning session went overtime and he was late returning home. His
wife was waiting longingly for him. Whenever she heard footsteps
she thought “Now he has arrived, now he has come home,” but he
did not come. She became emotionally overwhelmed and a tear
came from her eye. At that time he was sitting on a roof (meaning
on a high place). The roof collapsed under him and he fell and died.
The Gemara does not say that she cried, only that a tear came from her
155
רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
ה רמאמ - י ֶעי ֶב ְר ר ִר ִׁ
ל ָכּ ת ִא תּא ְר ֶל ר ַמּל ְכּ ,םֶי ַני ֵע ָה ת ִא הּ ָל ת ֵת ָל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,תיִשׁארֵ
ה ָנּכ ְנּ ַה ה ָכ ָר ֲע ַה ַה ם ֶע ּנ ֲע ַמ ְל תֶי ַבּ ַבּ ת ַח ַרּט ְו הֹ ָשּע אי ֶה ִשּׁ ה ַמ
תּא ְר ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,תי ֶנ ֵֶ ְו .]לי ֵע ְל א ָבוּמּ ַה א"ע ס"כ תּמ ָבְי ְבּ וּהָיּ ֶל ֵא ר ַמ ֲא ַמ ְכּ[
ם ִה ָל ת ִנ ִתּנ אי ֶה תוּבי ֶֶ ֲח ּזי ֵא - הּ ָלּ ִֶ ט ָבּ ַמ ְבּ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ת ִא
ּבּ ֶל ת ִא הּ ָל ת ֵת ָל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,תי ֶֶי ֶל ְֶוּ ,]ג"ס 'א ר ִר ִפ ְבּ לי ֵע ְל ר ָאֹב ְמ ַכּ[
.ה ֶָי ֶגּ ְר ַמ אי ֶה ִשּׁ ה ַמ ת ִא ֶי ֶגּ ְר ַה ְל ל ֵדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְל -
,ת ַלוּזּ ַה ת ִא םי ֶֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמּ ִֶ ה ִז ָבּ ר ַר א ֵטּ ַבּ ְת ֶמ ּני ֵא לֹע ְבּ אֵֹשוֹנ
ת ִא םי ֶֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמוּ ,פּכ ָנ פ ִפֹא ְבּ ּתּא "םי ֶאּר" ִֶ ה ָמּ ַכּ ד ַע א ָלּ ִא
םי ֶא ָבּ ִֶ י ֵדְי ל ַע ,ּלּ ֻע ת ִא וּנּ ִמּ ֶמ ל ֵר ָה ְל םי ֶל ְדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶמ - וי ָתֶּ ָגּ ְר ַה
ה ָבּ ַר תּמ ְֶ ֶבּ( ה ָנּכ ְנּ ַה ה ָרוּצּ ַבּ ד ִס ִח וי ָל ָע םי ֶעי ֶׁ ְֶ ַמוּ ּת ָר ְז ִע ְל
תאֹ ֵש ָל ם ִה ָל ר ַז ָע ְו ,א ָשּׂ ַמּ ַה ת ִא ם ִה ָל ר ֵשֶּׁי ְו ךְ ַל ָה ה ִֶֹמּ ִֶ א ָבוּמ
ה ָרּתּ ַבּ ר ַמ ֱא ִנ פ ֵכ ְו .הֹע ְר ַפ ְל ה ִז ָבּ ר ֵזּע וּלּ ֶא ְכּ הֹ ָש ָע ְו ,ּתּא
.)י ֶר ְצ ֶמּ ַה דַיּ ֶמ י ֶר ְב ֶע ָה ֶי ֶא ָה ת ִא לי ֶצּ ֶה ִֶ
לֹע ָה ת ִא ד ַחַי הּ ָתּ ֶא ֶי ֶגּ ְרַי תי ֶֶא ֵר ִֶ הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ֶמ ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ הָשִּׁאָה
י ֶׁ ל ַע י ֵר ֲה ַו .םי ֶנ ָבּ ַה לוּדּ ֶג ְו תֶי ַבּ ַה תּדּב ֲע - ָהי ִל ָע ץ ֵבּר ָה
ת ֵת ָל י ֵד ְכּ תֶי ַבּ ַה ֵמ תא ֵצּי אי ֶה י ֶכּ ,לוּפ ָכּ לֹע ָהי ִל ָע ץ ֵבּר בֹר
אּבָיּ ִֶ וּנּ ִמּ ֶמ ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ ף ַא אי ֶה םי ֶמ ָע ְפוּ .ה ָס ָנ ְר ַׁ ַבּ הּ ָר ְל ִח ת ִא
.םי ֶבּט םי ֶמָי ְו תּת ָבּ ֶַ י ֵב ְר ַע ְבּ פּג ְכּ ,ץ ַח ַל י ֵנּ ַמ ְז ֶבּ הּ ָת ָר ְז ִע ְל
הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ִֶ ה ִאּר אי ֶה ִֶ ְכּ ,תֶי ַבּ ַה לֹע ת ִא תאֹ ֵש ָל ר ֵתּי ה ִֶ ָר הָשִּׁאָל
ם ָני ֵא ָהיֹ ִש ֲע ַמ ל ָכ ְו תֶי ַבּ ַה תּדּב ֲע ַו ,הּ ֶָ ְפ ַנ ְל הּ ָתּא ב ֵזּע
.י ֶד ָע ְל ֶבּ ַה הּ ָמוּח ְת ֶל ר ַר םי ֶכָיּ ֶַ ם ֵה וּלּ ֶא ְכּ ,ל ָל ְכּ ּתּא םי ֶנְי ְנ ַע ְמ
ת ַח ַתּ ת ִצ ִבּר אי ֶה ִֶ ֵֶי ְו ,ר ֵתּי ְבּ ָהי ִל ָע די ֶבּ ְכ ַמ א ָשּׂ ַמּ ַה ה ִז פ ִפֹא ְבּ
ד ַצּ ֶמ ד ַב ְל תוּנְי ְנ ַע ְת ֶה ַה ם ִצ ִע ,א ָסי ֶגּ ךְ ַדי ֶא ֵמ .םּל ֶָ ְו ס ַח הּ ָא ָשּׂ ַמ
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