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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 1 - Lesson 7 ג רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ
Also, with this attribute of being able to patiently deal with a י ֶכּ ת ַע ַד ָל ּל י ַדּ י ֵר ֲה ?י ֶנ ָע ִה אוּה וּלּ ֶא ְכּ ּמ ְצ ַע ל ַע ל ֵכּ ַתּ ְס ֶה ְל
situation that has very many small details she helps her husband and
perfects his character. Sometimes the husband plans a grandiose לּד ָגּ דּסְי ה ָרּתּ ַה וּנ ָתּא ה ָד ְמּ ֶל א ָלּ ִא .ה ָא ָו ְל ַה ְל רוּר ָז י ֶנ ָע ִה
project that in its totality seems to him to be perfect and successful, ,ם ָל ְֶ ֻמוּ פּכ ָנ פ ִפֹא ְבּ י ֶנ ָע ִל ס ֵחַי ְת ֶה ְל לּכָי ה ִו ְל ַמּ ַה .ד ִס ִח תַיֹּ ֶש ֲע ַבּ
however his wife is able to look deeper into the fine details of the
plan and is thus able to discover the weak points of the plan which י ֵכ ְר ָצ ת ִא ֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמוּ ,י ֶנ ָע ִה ל ִֶ ֶ ִפ ִנּ ַה י ֵכ ְב ֶנ ְל ס ָנ ְכ ֶנ אוּה ם ֶא ר ַר
her husband overlooked. Regarding this situation and others like it םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה י ֵר ֲה וּנ ֵנָי ְנ ֶע ְל פ ֵכּ ם ֶא .ּמ ְצ ַע י ֵכ ְר ָצ פ ֵה וּלּ ֶא ְכּ י ֶנ ָע ִה
Chazal have said (in Gemara Yevamot 62b) “Any man who has no
wife is in a state …without an encircling protective wall,” as it is א ָלּ ִא ,רי ֶֶ ָע ִה ּמ ְכּ ר ִמֹח ּתּא ֵמ ץוּר ָר י ֶנ ָע ִה אלֹ ֲה :ר ִמֹח ָו ל ַר
written (Yirmiyah 31:21) “The female will circle around the male.” אוּה רוּר ָז ְו ,ף ִס ִכּ פי ֵא ה ִז ָל ,ף ִס ִכּ ֵֶי ה ִז ָל .תּנֶּ פ ֵה תּבּ ֶס ְנּ ַה
4
Occasionally it seems as though the wife worries too much about ס ֵנ ָכּ ֶה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ רי ֶֶ ָע ִה ִֶ ה ָרּתּ ַה ה ָר ְמ ָא ְו - רי ֶֶ ָע ִה י ֵדּ ְס ַח ְל
small petty details, but nevertheless in this specific framework she
guards the welfare of her husband because she does not skip any רי ֶכּ ַה ְל ֶי ֶא ָה ל ַע ל ָטּ ֻמ בוּיּ ֶח ַה ִֶ פ ֵכּ ִֶ ל ָכּ .י ֶנ ָע ִה ל ִֶ ֶּ ְפ ַנ ְל
of the small details. Regarding this Chazal said (in Gemara Babba ,פ ָע ְב ֶט ְו פ ָתוּה ַמ ְבּ תּנֶּ פ ֵה ִֶ ,ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ל ִֶ הּ ֶָ ְפ ַנ תּנוּכ ְתּ ת ִא
Metziah 59a) “If your wife is short, bend over to listen to her. Even
when she appears to you to be petty, take advice from her.” 5 .ּל ה ָרוּר ְז אי ֶה ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ד ִס ִח הּ ָמּ ֶע תֹוֹש ֲע ַל ל ַכוּיּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ
In summary, in order for the Chatan to conduct himself correctly ם ָע ְב ֶט ְבּ ה ִז י ֶנֶֹ .ה ָשּׁ ֶא ְל ֶי ֶא פי ֵבּ י ֶנֹשּׁ ַה ת ִא ד ַמ ְל ֶנ הָבָה
with his wife in all circumstances and situations he must study
this topic of “A helpmate standing opposite him who is different ֶּד ָקּ ַה .ה ִזּ ֶמ ה ִז םי ֶנּשּׁ ַה ם ִהי ֵדי ֶר ְפ ַתּ ֶמ ַע ֵבּנ ם ִהי ֵתּנוּכ ְתוּ
than him” and learn in which ways she is different than him, and לי ֶטּ ַמּ ִֶ די ֶר ְפ ַתּ ַה י ֶפ ְל תּנוּכ ְתּ ם ָד ָא ל ָכ ְל םי ֶא ְת ַמ אוּה ךְוּר ָבּ
understand that because she is different than him she will be a
helping life’s partner. Don’t attempt to challenge her to change her .תוּלי ֶעי ֶבּ ּתּא א ֵלּ ַמ ְל ל ַכוּיּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ ,וי ָל ָע
personality to be more like you, rather just the opposite, appreciate
her for her differences and you will experience the Beracha of a
life’s partner.
.ג רמאמ
י ִתי ֵבּ - י ִתּ ְשׁ ִא
4. This pasuk is the basis of the custom of a bride circling around her 'ר .תֶי ַבּ ַה י ֵכ ְר ָצ ְל גֹא ְד ֶל - תֶי ַבּ ַה אוּה ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ל ִֶ הָּדיִקְפַתּ
new husband under their wedding Chupah.
,י ֶתּ ְֶ ֶא י ֶתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל י ֶתא ָר ָר אלֹ ם ָלּע ְל" :]ב"ע ח"יר ת ָבּ ֶַ[ ר ַמ ָא י ֵסּי
5. Rashi : “If you wife is short, bend yourself over and listen to her
words.” הּ ָדי ֶר ְפ ַתּ יוּלּ ֶמ ְבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה תוּבי ֶֶ ֲח ת ִא ה ָא ָר אוּה ."י ֶתי ֵבּ א ָלּ ִא
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