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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 1 - Lesson 3 ז רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ

though he himself is the poor man? It is enough for him to know ֵֶי .ל ַע ַבּ ַה תּנוּכ ְתּ ת ִא ה ָמי ֶל ְֶ ַמוּ ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ ר ִז ֵע אי ֶה ּז ה ָנוּכ ְת ֶבּ םַגּ
that the poor man is in need of a loan! Rather, the Torah is teaching
us a basic lesson in dispensing Chessed; the lender is only able to ,ת ַח ַל ְצ ֻמ ְכּ הּ ָתוּל ָל ְכ ֶבּ תי ֵא ְר ֶנּ ִֶ ,ה ָלּד ְגּ תי ֶנ ְכ ָתּ פ ֵנ ְכ ַת ְמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה ִֶ
relate to the poor man appropriately and completely if he delves ,םיֶיּ ֶשׂ ֲע ַמּ ַה םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה םי ֶט ָר ְׁ ַה ל ִא הּ ָט ָבּ ַמ ְבּ ת ִר ִדּח ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ם ָלוּא
into the depths of this poor man’s soul and feels the needs of the
poor man as though they are his own needs. That being so, then in ל ַע .תי ֶנ ְכ ָתּ ַה ל ִֶ םי ֶֶ ָלּ ַח ַה םי ֶד ָד ְצּ ַה ת ִא ה ָלּ ַג ְמ ה ִז י ֵדְי ל ַע ְו
our topic we can make a simple logical deduction; the poor man is ה ָשּׁ ֶא ּל פי ֵא ִֶ ם ָד ָא ל ָכּ" :]ב"ע ב"ס תּמ ָבְי[ ל" ַז ַר וּר ְמ ָא ה ִז פּג ְכּ
molded from the same form as the rich man except that their tests 4
are different. This one has money and this one does not have money ה ִמּדּ . "'ר ִב ָגּ ב ֵבּס ְתּ ה ָב ֵר ְנ' בי ֶת ְכ ֶדּ ,ה ָמּח אלֹ ְבּ ...יוּר ֶָ
and is in need of the rich man’s Chessed, and the Torah says that the אי ֶה ה ִז ָבּ א ָר ְו ַדּ ם ָלוּא ,י ַדּ ֶמ תי ֶנוּנ ְט ַר םי ֶמ ָע ְפ ֶל ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ִֶ י ַלוּא
rich man must enter into the soul of the poor man, Then all the more .םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה םי ֶט ָר ְׁ ַה ל ַע ת ִג ִלּ ַד ְמ הּ ָני ֵא י ֶכּ ,הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ל ַע ת ִר ִמֶּ
so it is incumbent on the husband to recognize the character of his
wife’s soul, who she is in her essence, and what affects her - as her ֶי ֶח ָל ְו פי ֶח ָגּ ה ָצוּגּ ךְ ָת ְתּ ֶא" :]א"ע ט"נ א ָעי ֶצ ְמ א ָב ָבּ[ ל" ַז ַר וּר ְמ ָא
qualities are fundamentally different than his both in her being and .הּ ָתּ ֶא ץ ֵעַי ְת ֶת - תי ֶנוּנ ְט ַר ךָ ְל תי ֵא ְר ֶנּ ִֶ ְכּ ם ַגּ - "הּ ַל
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in her personality - in order that he will be able to extend Chessed
to her timely based on her needs. י ֵׁ ַל ְכּ תּבּ ֶס ְנּ ַה ְו םי ֶב ָצּ ַמּ ַה ל ָכ ְבּ ס ֵחַי ְת ֶה ְלוּ ג ֵה ַנ ְת ֶה ְל י ֵד ְכּ :םוּכִּסְל

Come and let’s learn what those differences are between a man - "ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ ר ִז ֵע" ת ֶַ ָר ָׁ ת ִא דֹמ ְל ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,פּכ ָנ פ ִפֹא ְבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה
and a woman. These differences in their personality and character
emerge from their individual purpose, each one different than the ל ַא .ר ִז ֵע ְל וּנ ָל אי ֶה י ֶנֹשּׁ ַה י ֵדְי ל ַע ִֶ ת ַע ַד ָל ְו ,ה ָנֶּ אי ֶה ה ִמּ ַבּ
other. HaKadosh Baruch Hu matches up each person with the ,ּבּ ב ֵשּׁ ַח ְת ֶנ - ךְ ִפ ִה ְל א ָלּ ִא ,ה ִנּשּׁ ַה הָּי ְפ ָא ת ִא תּנּ ֶַ ְל ה ִסּ ַנ ְנ
qualities he will need according to the life’s-goal that He assigned
to him, in order that he will be able to satisfy that need effectively. .ר ִז ֵע ָה ת ַכּ ְר ֶבּ ת ִא ּבּ ה ִא ְר ֶנ ְו

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Chapter 1 - Lesson 3

My wife (is) my home.

The job of a wife is to oversee her home and take care of the needs
and wellbeing of her family. Rebbe Yossi says (Gemara Shabbat
113b) “Throughout my life never once did I call my wife – My wife
- rather, I called her ‘My home’.” He understood the importance of .פ ָת ָח ִה ת ִא ת ִב ִבּס ְמ ה ָלּ ַכּ ַה ִֶ ג ָה ְנ ֶמּ ַה ַע ֵבּנ פא ָכּ ֶמ .4
a wife in the fulfillment of her life’s task as attending to the needs of ." ָהי ִר ָב ְדּ ע ַמ ְֶוּ ךָ ְמ ְצ ַע ףֹפ ְכּ ,ה ָנּ ַט ְר ךָ ְתּ ְֶ ֶא" :י" ֶֶ ַר .5

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