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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander
A Peaceful Home
Chapter 2 - Lesson 3
house. Therefore “her eyes look up to him” to love her from the
moment he walks into the house. She yearns to know and see on
his face and in all of his actions that his “house” – his wife - gives
him pleasure. At times the husband returns home absorbed in some
matter and so he pays no attention to his wife. His wife becomes
disappointed and gets insulted “Why isn’t he happy to come home?”
She worked hard all day for him to make the household pleasant for
him and she takes his inattention as a personal insult. The home
is the world of the woman, and within her home she wants to find
her satisfaction. (Even if the wife leaves the house and goes out to
work – she wants her main satisfaction to come from her house).
Her sense of satisfaction from her home is entirely dependent on
her husband – how much he devotes his heart to paying attention
to her and demonstrates to her his affection, and in so doing he
expresses to her that she is his true life’s partner standing beside
him doing his will. Thus, the pleasantness and tranquility of the
family rests on the husband.

Chapter 2 - Lesson 3
Closeness \ Bonding to her by engaging her in
conversation.
(Gemara Kedushin 49b) “Ten measures of talking descended into
the world at Creation and from them women took nine measures.”
What is this lesson being taught to us by Chazal? Is it that women
were “successful” in snatching more than the men? With absolute
certainty in this teaching of the Gemara there lies a deep, profound
lesson in the created nature of women.
Chazal disclosed to us even more on this topic in Midrash Rabbah
(Beresheet 18:2). “Rebbe Yehudah from Saknin said in the name of
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רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
ה רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ
ה ָתְי ָה ד ָח ִא ְכּ ה ָלּ ֶח ְתּ ַבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ְו ֶי ֶא ת ַאי ֶר ְבּ ִֶ ר ֵא ָב ְמ א"רְָגַּה
דוּח ֶא ָה ה ִר ְֶֶיּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ ,םֶי ַנ ְֶ ם ָתּא אֹר ְב ֶל ה ָנ ָכ ֲה ַו י ֶע ָצ ְמ ִא
ףוּגּ וּי ְהֶיּ ִֶ ...ם ִהי ֵני ֵבּ ה ָו ֲח ַא ְו ה ָב ֲה ַא א ֵה ְתּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ" - ם ִהי ֵני ֵבּ
א ָלּ ִא ,ה ָוּ ַח ְו ם ָד ָא ת ַרי ֶצְי ל ַע ר ַר רוּמ ָא ה ִז פי ֵא ."ֶ ָמּ ַמ ד ָח ִא
ת ַבּ ד ָל ָוּ ַה ת ַרי ֶצְי י ֵנ ְפ ֶל םּי םי ֶע ָבּ ְר ַא םי ֶזי ֶר ְכ ַמ י ֵר ֲה ה ָרי ֶצְי ל ָכ ְבּ
ּתּ ֶא םי ֶר ְצּי ֶי ֶא ָה ת ַרי ֶצְי ת ַלּ ֶח ְת ֶבּ ִֶ ,רֹמא ֵל ,י ֶנּל ְפ ֶל תי ֶנּל ְׁ
ם ֵֶ ְבּ א ָבוּמ ךְ ָכּ( ּגוּז ת ַבּ ת ַמ ְֶ ֶנ ת ִא וי ָל ֵא םי ֶמי ֶא ְת ַמוּ ד ַחַי
.)ז"ט ר ִר ִׁ ה ָשּׁ ֻד ְקּ ַה י ֵר ֲע ֶַ ה ָמ ְכ ָח תי ֶֶא ֵר ר ִפ ֵס ְבּ ֶּד ָקּ ַה ר ַהֹזּ ַה
ל ַעֹפ ְבּ אי ֶב ָה ְל גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ י ֵנ ְֶ פי ֵבּ ל ַעֹפ ְבּ ה ָמ ָא ְת ַה ַה ת ִא םָלוּא
א ֵרּבּ ַה רי ֶא ְֶ ֶה ,ד ָח ִא הִי ְהֶי בוֶּ םֶי ַנ ְשּׁ ַה ֵמּ ִֶ ,"ה ָרי ֶצְי ַה ת ַנ ָוּ ַכ" ְל
י ֵמְי ל ָכ ְבּ אוּה הּ ָכ ֵֶ ְמ ִה ְו ה ָנֶּא ֶר ה ָנ ֶָ ְבּ וּנ ֵת ָדּב ֲע י ֶהּז .וּנ ָל
.וּניֵיּ ַח

.ה רמאמ
ה ָמי ִע ְנוּ ה ָבוֹט ַחוּר
ןוֹר ְס ֶח ה ָא ְר ַמ ץ ֶר ֶא ךְ ֶר ֶדּ ת ַדּ ְר ֶח ְו דוֹב ָכ ְבּ תוּס ֲח ַי ְת ִה םי ִמ ָע ְפ ִל"
תּמ ָבְי[ ל" ַז ַר ר ַמ ֲא ַמ ר ֵא ָב ְל םי ֶנ ָוּ ֻכ ְמ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ִֶ פ ֵכ ָתֶּי ."בוּר ֵק
"ּפוּגּ ֶמ ר ֵתּי הּ ָד ְבּ ַכ ְמוּ ּפוּג ְכּ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ת ִא ב ֵהּא ָה" ]ב"ע ב"ס
א ָלּ ִא ,ץ ִר ִא ךְ ִר ִדּ י ֵנוּנּ ֶג ְבּ דּב ָכּ הּ ָל ת ֵת ָל ל" ַז ֲח ת ַנ ָוּ ַכּ פי ֵא ִֶ -
ם ָד ָא ל ִֶ ּנּצ ְר"( הּ ָע ְב ֶט ְו ּתּ ְֶ ֶא פּצ ְר ֶבּ תוּב ְשּׁ ַח ְת ֶה ְל ם ָת ָנ ָוּ ַכּ
ת ִב ִהּא אי ֶה .)ּנּצ ְר ם ֶע תוּב ְשּׁ ַח ְת ֶה אוּה ּדּב ְכּ - ּדּב ְכּ אוּה
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