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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 6 ב רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ

Chapter 2 - Lesson 6 ה ָכי ֶר ְצ ר ֵתּי ְבוּ ,םי ֶרֹ ְש ִע ְו ה ָא ֵמ ד ַע פי ֶאוּשּׂ ֶנּ ַה י ֵמְי ל ָכּ ת ִא ט ֵוּ ַנ ְל
תּדּסְי ַה ת ִא םי ֶחי ֶנּ ַמ הּ ָבּ ִֶ ,ה ָנֶּא ֶר ָה ה ָנ ָשּׁ ַבּ וּנ ָתּא ךְי ֶר ְד ַה ְל
His relationship to his wife – like his right hand is .ר ֵתּי ְבּ ת ַע ַר ְכ ַמוּ ת ַע ַבּר אי ֶה פ ֵכּ ל ַע ְו ,תֶי ַבּ ַה פַי ְנ ֶבּ ךְ ֵֶ ְמ ִה ְל
to his left hand.

“He must work and exert effort to behave in a way that promotes ."תוֹאוּשׂ ְנ ָהי ֶני ֵע וי ָל ֵא ְו ,וי ָני ֵע ְבּ הּ ָנּ ִח ל ַע ג ֵנּ ַע ְת ִה ְל הּ ָלּ ֶשׁ ע ַב ֶט"
a closer bonding to his wife like the relationship between a
person’s right hand and his left hand which are not two unrelated ת ִא א ֵלּ ַמ ְל ל ַכוּתּ ִֶ ,תּנוּכ ְתּ ַה ת ִא ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָבּ ַעי ֶבּ ְט ֶה ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה
halves but rather are one and the same entity.” There is a type
of joined connected relationship between two unrelated objects. It ר ִז ֵע ּל הֹ ִש ֱע ִא" ]ח״י׃ב תישארב[ ר ָמ ֲא ַמּ ַה .תוּמ ֵל ְֶ ֶבּ הּ ָדי ֶר ְפ ַתּ
is possible to bond together with a strong glue a piece of wood ,תֹוֹש ֲע ַל ה ִצּר אוּה ךְוּר ָבּ ֶּד ָקּ ַה ִשּׁ ה ַמ ה ִלּ ַג ְמ ר ַר אלֹ "ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ
and a piece of metal to the point where they are solidly attached as ר ִז ֵע" - הּ ָתוּה ַמ ל ָכּ .ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ע ַב ִט ת ִא ַע ֵבּר ְו א ֵרּבּ אוּה א ָלּ ִא
one unit and cannot be separated. However that kind of bonding is
artificial as they are only externally connected. However the right י ֵׁ ַל ְכּ ה ִנ ְפ ֻמ הּ ָנּצ ְר ל ָכּ - "ךְ ֵת ָרוֶּ ְתּ ךְ ֵֶי ֶא ל ִא ְו" ."ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ
hand and the left hand and in general the right side and the left side "הּ ָל ְע ַבּ פּצ ְר ה ָשּׂע ִֶ ל ָכּ ה ָר ֵֶ ְכּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא אי ֶה ּזי ֵא" .הּ ֶָי ֶא
of the body have a connection between them that is integral to one
entity; they are two parts of one body that are anatomically joined א ָלּ ִא ,"ה ָבּט ה ָשּׁ ֶא אי ֶה ּזי ֵא" פא ָכּ ר ַמ ֱא ִנ אלֹ ,]'ט ה ָבּ ַר וּהָיּ ֶל ֵא[
together by thousands of strands. They have systems of blood פ ַנ ָח ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה .הּ ָדי ֶר ְפ ַת ְל ה ָמי ֶא ְת ַמוּ ה ָר ֵֶ ְכּ ר ַמּל ְכּ ,"ה ָר ֵֶ ְכּ"
vessels and nerves working together in partnership. A right hand
that is in pain is felt throughout the entire body. The Gaon Chazon ר ִתִי .הּ ָל ְע ַבּ פּצ ְר ת ִא תֹוֹש ֲע ַל ףֹא ְֶ ֶל - תאֹז ה ָפי ֶא ְֶ ֶבּ הּ ָתּא
Ish is teaching us that this must be the relationship between the two ר ִז ֵע תּי ְה ֶל - רוּׁ ֶס ת ֶַ ָגּ ְר ַה ְבּ ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה הּ ָתּא פ ַנ ָח פ ֵכּ ל ַע
partners in marriage, that they are one joined being – “They will
be as one body.” The RambaN and the Ibn Ezra explain the pasuk ת ִא א ֵלּ ַמ ְל אי ֶה ה ָלּכְי ךְ ָכּ ר ַר י ֶכּ ,ּנּצ ְר ת ִא תּשׂ ֲע ַל ְו ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ
“and you shall love your fellow Jew as you love yourself” that the ד ַצּ ֶמ רוּשּׁ ֶא ְל די ֶמ ָתּ ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה פ ֵכ ָא .ה ָח ָל ְצ ַה ְבּ הּ ָדי ֶר ְפ ַתּ
Torah’s meaning is not that you should love that person literally
as you love yourself, rather, all of the good things that you want ע ַב ִט" פ ֵכ ָל .ּנּצ ְר ת ַעי ֶבֹ ְש ֶל ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ ר ִז ֵע אי ֶה ם ֶא ַה - הּ ָל ְע ַבּ
for yourself you should want for that person; therefore it is written "תּאוּשׂ ְנ ָהי ִני ֵע וי ָל ֵא ְו" פ ֵכ ָל ְו ."וי ָני ֵע ְבּ הּ ָנּ ֶח ל ַע ג ֵנּ ַע ְת ֶה ְל הּ ָלּ ִֶ
“for his friend” and not “to his friend.” (Please study carefully that
reference where this is explained at length). However all of this is ּל תּי ְה ֶל - וי ָל ֵא פ ָוּ ֻכ ְמ ָהיֹ ִש ֲע ַמ ל ַע הּ ָט ָבּ ַמ ל ָכּ :ע ַמ ְֶ ַמ י ֵתּ ְר ַתּ -
in relation to his friend, but when it comes to his wife he must love רוּשּׁ ֶא וי ָר ָב ְד ֶבוּ וי ָנ ָפ ְבּ אֹצ ְמ ֶל י ֵד ְכּ ּבּ ת ִל ִכּ ַתּ ְס ֶמ ם ַגּ אי ֶה .ר ִז ֵע ְל
her literally as he loves himself since they are one being – the right אי ֶה ר ִֶ ֲא ַכּ הּ ָגוּנ ֲע ַת ְו הּ ָרוּׁ ֶס ל ַע ה ָא ָבּ אי ֶה ְו ,ּנּצ ְר ת ַעי ֶבֹ ְש ֶל
hand and the left hand of one body.
הּ ָל רֹז ֲע ַל ךְי ֶר ָצ ל ַע ַבּ ַה פ ֵכ ָל .וי ָני ֵע ְבּ פ ֵח ת ַאי ֶצ ְמ ֶל רוּשּׁ ֶא תא ֵצּמ
This bonding does not come automatically by itself simply because
she is his wife, rather, this is an effort that demands work and תּי ְה ֶל ְו הּ ָל ְע ַבּ פּצ ְר ת ִא תֹוֹש ֲע ַל הּ ָת ָפי ֶא ְֶ ת ִא א ֵלּ ַמ ְל ל ַכוּתּ ִֶ

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