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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 1 ז רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ

to go into battle and put their lives on the line for the sake of the ,הּ ָחוּר ב ַצּ ַמ ל ַע ַעי ֶׁ ְֶ ַמ ה ִז פ ָבוּמּ ַכ ְו , ָהי ִל ָע םי ֶד ֵב ְכּ ָהי ִר ָבי ֵא ְו
Jewish people.
םי ֶר ָד ְגּ הּ ָתּ ְס ֶו י ֵמי ֶבּ וּר ְז ָגּ וּני ֵמ ָכ ֲח .רוּזּ ֶח ְו דוּדּ ֶע ְל ה ָרוּר ְז אי ֶה ְו
We will explain these words: There are two parshiyot in the Torah
that address a man going out to war, one in perashat Shoftim and the א ָר ְו ַדּ ִֶ ת ַע ַד ָל ל ַע ַבּ ַה ל ַע ךְ ַא .א ָתְי ָרּא ְדּ םי ֶרוּסּ ֶא ל ַע םי ֶגָי ְסוּ
other in perashat Ki TehTzeh. In perashat Shoftim (Devarim 20:7) ב ֵל ת ַמוֹּש ְתּ ר ִתִי הּ ָל ֶי ֶדּ ְר ַה ְל ל ֵדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְל ּת ָבּח וּלּ ֵא םי ֶמָי ְבּ
it is written (addressing soldiers about to go into battle) “Whoever ל ֵר ָה ְל י ֵד ְכּ םי ֶר ָתּ ֻמּ ַה םי ֶרוּבּ ֶד ְבּ ט ֵע ַמ ְל אלֹ ְו ,הּ ָב ָצּ ַמ ְבּ פֵי ְנ ַע ְת ֶה ְלוּ
married a woman and has not yet taken her into his home should go
and return to his home, perhaps he will die and someone else will .י ֶֶ ְפ ַנּ ַה הּ ָל ְב ֶס ת ִא ָהי ִל ָע ֵמ
take her as a wife.” From the perspective of Torah betrothal means
Kedushin, meaning, a man who has sanctified a woman but has not ה ָנ ָוּ ַכּ ַה ִֶ פ ֵכ ָתֶּי ."י ִח ְכוֹנ ןוֹשׁ ְל ִבּ א ָלּ ֶא ,תוּח ְכוֹנ ןוֹשׁ ְל ִבּ ר ֵבּ ַד ְל ןי ֵא"
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yet taken her as a wife - he has not yet taken her under a Chupah .ר ָז ל ִא םי ֶר ְבּ ַד ְמּ ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ,םי ֶבּ ַר פֶּ ְל ֶבּ ר ֵבּ ַד ְל פי ֵא ִֶ אי ֶה
– is exempt from going to the battlefield lest he might be killed,
but he is required to participate and help the war effort as it says in
Mishnah Sotah (43a) “They return, and supply troops with water 
and food, and fix roadways for military transport. Therefore, this
man who has engaged a “wife” travels with the army’s logistical
support since he is not exempt from the war effort, as he is exempt .ז רמאמ
only from fighting in the battlefield.
ה ָשּׁ ִא ָה ףוּתּ ִשׁ
The second perasha in Ki TehTzeh (Devarim 24:5) addresses a
man who has married a woman, meaning, he has taken her under
a Chupah and lived with her. “When a man takes a new woman
as a wife he may not go into the army, and they may not obligate וֹבּ א ֵצוֹיּ ַכ ְו ,הֹ ָש ָע ה ֶמ - וֹבוּשׁ ְבוּ ,ךְ ֵלוֹה ן ָא ְל - ה ָאי ִצי ִבּ ַעי ִדוֹה ְל"
him to serve in the army for any reason. Undistracted, he will be תּנ ְב ֶל ךְי ֵא ף ָסּנ לּד ָגּ דּסְי וּנ ָל פ ָתּ ֶנ פא ָכּ ."םי ִנּ ַט ְק םי ִר ָב ְד ִבּ
focused on his wife in their first year of marriage and make this
woman who he took as his new wife happy.” Regarding this it says ,וי ָנָי ְנ ֶע ל ָכ ְבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ת ִא ף ֵתּ ֶַ ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ ."תוּד ֲח ַא ְת ֶה" ַה ת ִא
there in the Mishnah “The following are those who don’t leave their ל ַא ,וי ָנָי ְנ ֶע ְל תֶי ַבּ ַה ֵמ א ֵצּי ל ַע ַבּ ַה ִֶ ְכּ .םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה ם ַג ְו םי ֶלּד ְגּ ַה
place…one who marries the woman he is betrothed to…these men ם ֵה ם ִהי ֵנְי ְנ ֶע ל ָכּ א ָבּ ַה ְלוּ פא ָכּ ֶמ "?י ֶתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל ַע ֵגּנ ה ִז ה ָמ" - בֶֹ ֲחַי
do not supply water nor do they repair the roads.” Rashi explains
the language of the pasuk as “They may not obligate him to serve in תוּפ ָתּ ֻשּׁ ַל י ֶדי ֶמ ְתּ יוּטּ ֶבּ ת ֵת ָל ךְי ֶר ָצּ ִֶ פ ָר ָמ וּנ ֵד ְמּ ַל ְמ .םי ֶפ ָתּ ֶֻ ְמ
the army for any reason… things needed by an army, not to supply ר ֵׁ ַסְי ּבוֶּ ְבוּ ,ךְ ֵלּה אוּה פ ָא ְל ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל ַעי ֶדּמּ ִֶ י ֵדְי ל ַע ,תאֹזּ ַה
water or food, and not to repair roads.”
.הֹ ָש ָע ה ִמ הּ ָל
Our holy Torah is teaching us the great lesson of the importance
of the Chatan’s obligation. “Undistracted - He will give his full ,"םי ִנּ ַט ְק םי ִר ָב ְד ִבּ וֹבּ א ֵצוֹיּ ַכ ְו" :דּסְי דּע ףי ֶסּמ א"ּז ֲח ַה ןרָָמ
attention to his new wife, and in their first year of marriage he will ,ט ָר ְפ ֶבּ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל ֶי ֶא פי ֵבּ ס ַחַיּ ַה ְו ,ל ָל ְכ ֶבּ ֶּנ ֱא ס ַחַיּ ִֶ רֹמא ֵל

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