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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 2 ו רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ
remain undistracted by other occupations and will make her happy.” וּהָיּ ֶל ֵא ֵמ ב ָתּ ְכ ֶמ ר ִפ ֵס ְבּ ר ָבּ ְס ֻמ .ּבּ ֶל בוּטּ ֶמ ָהי ִל ָע ַעי ֶׁ ְֶ ַה ְלוּ הּ ָל
He is exempted from all obligation to help the war effort because he
has a primary obligation that is no less important for the sake of the ת ַא ָצּתּ אי ֶה ה ָב ֲה ַא ָה ִֶ ,ד ִס ִח ַה ס ֵר ְט ְנוּר ְבּ ]פ ָלּ ַה ְלוּ 37 דוּמּ ַע 'א ר ִל ֵח[
continuity of the Jewish nation, which is the establishment of his ל ִא םי ֶר ְשּׁ ַר ְת ֶמ ,ד ִס ִח םי ֶעי ֶׁ ְֶ ַמוּ םי ֶנ ְתּנּ ִֶ י ֵדְי ל ַע .ה ָני ֶת ְנּ ַה
home. The bricks which build the Jewish nation are the families. ה ָב ֲה ַא ה ָר ְצּנ ר ֵתּי םי ֶנ ְתּנּ ִֶ ל ָכ ְכוּ .ה ָב ֲה ַא י ֵר ְֶ ֶר ְבּ ל ֵבּ ַר ְמ ַה
When the Jewish people went down to Egypt (Shemot 1:1) “They
came each man with his family,” and they arrived in Egypt as ר ֵנ תּי ְה ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ה ָב ָח ְר ַה ְבּ ם ֶָ ר ָבּ ְס ֻמּ ַה ה ִז דּסְי( ר ֵתּי ה ָלּד ְגּ
seventy families. That is how the Jewish nation is counted, “by .)גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ י ֵל ְג ַר ְל
families, each in the household of their fathers” (Bamidbar 1:2).
The perfection of each and every home is the strength and the might ,הּ ָל ְע ַב ְל ם ַגּ ַע ֵגּנ תּי ְה ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ת ִא רי ֶס ֲע ַמּ ִשּׁ הַמ
of the Jewish people! Therefore, he must devote the first year of
marriage – “Undistracted he will be with his wife their first year,” ם ֶע ת ַח ַחּשׂ ְמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ִֶ ְכּ .פ ָלּ ַה ְל פ ָר ָמ רי ֶבּ ְס ַמּ ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ךְ ִפ ִה ְלוּ
to build the perfection of their relationship and family. ךְ ִֶ ִמ ְבּ הּ ָל וּר ָקּ ִֶ םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה ְו םי ֶלּד ְגּ ַה םי ֶעוּר ֵא ָה ל ַע הּ ָל ְע ַבּ
And if you were to ask – Why can’t he stay home and from there ,ת ִב ִשּׁ ַר פ ִזֹא ְבּ הּ ָל פי ֶז ֲא ַה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ אוּה ,הּ ָתּא םי ֶרי ֶס ֲע ַמּ ִֶ םּיּ ַה
help send supplies – water and food – to the army, since in this first רי ֶס ֲע ַה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ ָהי ִל ָע ץ ֵחּלּ ִשּׁ ה ַמוּ ,לי ֵע ְל וּנ ְר ַכּ ְז ֶה ר ָב ְכּ ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ
year he is involved in his normal routine; each day he goes to his
Kollel and attends to his other responsibilities?! Why not also assist ּני ֵא ְו ,ר ֵח ַא פ ִפֹא ְבּ פָי ְנ ֶע ָה ל ַע ל ֵכּ ַתּ ְס ֶמ אוּה ִֶ פ ֵכ ָתֶּי .ּתּא ם ַגּ
in the army? The answer is – The Torah does not want to impose on ה ִאּר אי ֶה ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ה ָרוּמ ֲח תוּע ָמ ְֶ ַמ ְבּ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ת ִא ה ִאּר
him any communal responsibilities in order that he will be able to
plan his activities in accordance with the primary responsibility that םיֹ ֶשּע םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה פ ֵכ ָל ,ֶ ִג ִר ָה ט ֵלֶּ הּ ָל ְצ ִא ִֶ י ֵנ ְׁ ֶמ י ַלוּא ,ם ָתּא
rests on him, namely, to create an environment and relationship with ל ָב ֲא .ם ָתּא ל ֵרֶּ ְו פ ָדּ י ֶל ְכ ֶשּׂ ַה ט ָבּ ַמּ ַה ִֶ ה ַמּ ֶמ ר ֵתּי לּד ָגּ ם ִֶֹר
his new wife that makes her happy. That is the emphasis stressed by
the Gaon Chazon Ish – It is “mandatory.” די ֶבּ ְכ ַה ְל ה ָכי ֶר ְצ ָהי ִל ָע םי ֶצ ֲחּל ה ִלּ ֵא םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ִֶ ה ָדּ ְב ֻע ָה ם ִצ ִע
דַי ל ִֶ ר ַע ַצּ ַה ת ִא א ָלי ֵמּ ֶמ ה ֶָי ֶגּ ְר ַמ פי ֶמָי דַיּ ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ,וי ָל ָע ם ַגּ
ךְּתּ ֶמ הּ ָר ְזּ ַח ְלוּ הּ ָתּא ד ֵדּע ְל ל ֵדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְל וי ָל ָע פ ֵכ ָל ,לאֹמ ְשׂ
.הּ ָר ֲע ַצ ְבּ ה ָנ ֵכּ תוּפ ְתּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה
Chapter 2 - Lesson 2 י ֵב ְצּ ַמ ְבּ תּדוּנ ְת ֶל ת ִנ ִתּ ֶנ אי ֶה ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ל ִֶ הּ ָתוֶּי ֶג ְר תַמֲחֵמ
ד ֵדּע ְלוּ תוּנ ָל ְב ַס ְבוּ ַחוּר ךְ ִרֹא ְבּ תאֹז תאֹ ֵש ָל ל ַע ַבּ ַה ל ַע . ַחוּר
How does he make her happy? רוּזּ ֶח י ֵר ְב ֶד ְבוּ" :פ ָלּ ַה ְל ר ֵמּא פ ָר ָמּ ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ,םי ֶב ָצּ ַמּ ַה ל ָכ ְבּ הּ ָתּא
."ב ֵל ַח ֵמֹּ ַש ְל
The Chatan needs to be committed in the first year of their marriage
to “making his wife happy,” as through his effort their relationship הּ ֶָאֹר .הּ ָתּ ְס ֶו י ֵמי ֶבּ ת ִד ִחֻי ְמ תוֶּי ֶג ְר ֶבּ ת ִד ִר ְפ ֶנ הָשִּׁאָה
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