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Regarding the infertile woman, some poskim rule that her marriage
is not considered a mistaken transaction. A man who does not have
male potency, however, is viewed as a mistaken transaction, according
to all opinions of the poskim. As explained in the Ein Yitzchak (Even
Ha’ezer 24, #6:42), if he cannot have marital relations with her, his
marriage is nullified by itself, and she does not need a bill of divorce.
His condition is worse than an infertile woman, with whom it is
possible to live a married life. He is doubly stricken. He cannot sire
children and he cannot live a normal married life with a woman.
There is almost no practical application for this question. Since
he is paralyzed, any woman who considered marrying him will in-
vestigate his condition to determine whether he is capable of bearing
children. There is no need to tell her about his condition because it
is open and revealed to everyone. He is not considered a stumbling
block to the public, because whoever sees him knows that there may
be a problem.
What we do need to consider is that perhaps the physicians told
him that there is a possibility that he can sire children and now, after
his surgery, his condition has changed. Therefore, we would need to
gently hint to him that the surgery may have caused some changes
and it would be wise for him to marry a woman who is appropriate
for him.
The Torah says “Do not wrong your fellowman” (Vayikra 25:17).
The Ibn Ezra says that the reason this injunction is stated in the plu-
ral form (lo sonu) is in order to include the witnesses. It’s possible that
the agent of the wrongdoing, and all those who assisted him, also
violate the prohibition “Do not wrong your fellowman.”
Therefore, one should hint to the young man that it is possible that
something happened to his reproductive organs during the surgery.
This will prevent some future young lady from making the mistake of
marrying him under the assumption that he is able to sire children.
One should carefully prepare him to find a wife who already has chil-
dren.
The physician must remember that our Torah is exceedingly cau-
40 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein
should give the person who attempted suicide a chance to prove to
himself that he will not repeat that attempt, despite the fact that sci-
entifically, no one can promise it will not happen again.
I wish to add that attempted suicide is the result of a person feeling
various pressures and a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. The
person sees no light at the end of the tunnel, no escape from his situ-
ation. The more the person becomes isolated from society, the more
endangered he becomes. Sometimes a person goes through difficult
times, and if they pass, his thoughts of suicide will probably dissipate.
We must help him through those difficulties.
If this young lady strengthens her faith, learns problem-solving
skills, and receives social support, she will probably not consider
suicide again.
Prof. Matityahu Wiesenberg, Clinical Psychologist
1 AnsweR
It says in Tractate Baba Metzia (60a), and the Rambam (Hilchos
Mechirah 18:1-2) also rules that it is prohibited for a person to cheat in
sales or to deceive a Jew or gentile. If the seller knows there is a defect
in the item he is selling, he should tell the buyer. (The Kiryas Sefer
says that this in an actual Torah prohibition.) Moreover, the Mishnah
continues, one should not buff-up a person, animal, or old utensil to
make it look new.
In Responsa Divrei Malkiel (Vol. 3 #54) a question is raised: What
does the Mishnah add by telling us not to buff-up an old item to look
as if it were new? Can there be any greater deception than this? He
answers that even if the buyer knows that the item is not new, it is still
forbidden to adorn it to look like new. From this we can learn that in
our case, the girl is prohibited from hiding her past. If even after the
seller told the buyer that the item is used, he is still forbidden to make
it look more beautiful than it really is, then all the more so should it
be forbidden to conceal something as serious as an attempt at suicide.
However, one can still argue that the young lady is not obligated to
reveal her past, if we accept the physician’s assurance that the chances
Revealing a bride's earlier attempt at suicide 2 29