Page 53 - 20818_park-c_efi

20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 2 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:23 | SR:-- | Cyan
20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 2 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:23 | SR:-- | Black
#20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 2 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:23 | SR:-- | Yellow
20818_efi-ab - 20818_park-C_efi-ab | 2 - A | 18-08-20 | 13:46:23 | SR:-- | Magenta
#
are overwhelming that she will not repeat her act. It is considered loan to he who is physically present before him. Perhaps, since it says 2
as if the illness has passed, and the groom will not suffer from it in “Do not ignore your flesh and blood” (Yeshayah 58:7), he is obligated
the future. Therefore, it resembles what is explained in the Shulchan to worry about him, even though he is not here yet. This requires
Aruch (Choshen Mishpat #232:5): if an object is repaired leaving no further study.
trace of its defect, it is considered a passing defect and the buyer can- The Shulchan Aruch (Even Ha’ezer #44:4) writes that if one mar-
not change his mind. ries a woman and then discovers that she is sterile and unable to bear
Even though if the boy knew that she had attempted to kill her- children, then according to some poskim, she is not sanctified to him.
self, he would refuse to become engaged to her, there is still reason to If so, we would be obligated to tell the girl about her condition, so that
argue that she is not obligated to reveal her past. It says in Tractate she not violate the prohibition of deception. Nonetheless, this is not
Yevamos (45a) that the son of a Jewish mother and a gentile father so, since, so long as she herself is unaware that she is lacking ovaries,
sought Rav Yehudah’s advice. How was he to find a mate, when Jew- she would not be violating the prohibition of deception. Therefore, it
ish girls refused to marry him? Rav Yehuda told him to go to a place seems that one should not tell her about her situation.
where his background would not be known, and to marry a Jewish However, my father-in-law, Rav Y. S. Elyashiv zt”l, ruled, that one
woman there. How could Rav Yehudah advise this man to deceive should hint or allude to her condition, for several reasons:
people? [This question is strengthened all the more since the Kiryas 1. Due to her condition, this girl is like a stumbling block to the
Sefer holds that deception, especially in matchmaking, is a violation public. It would be right to try to prevent someone from making
of the Torah prohibition of “You shall not wrong your fellowman” the mistake of marrying her, even though the young man is not
(Vayikra 25:17)] yet in the picture. Since the young woman is ready for marriage,
The Kehillos Yaakov answers (Yevamos #44): Since matchmaking this will certainly happen in the near-future.
is as difficult as splitting the Red Sea, and when both sides agree to
marry there is great rejoicing, a defect not severe enough to warrant a 2. By hinting to her about her condition we can prevent a future
divorce is not viewed as a serious blemish, and there is no obligation tragedy if she marries someone unsuitable. Her pain then will
to reveal it. Even though no Jewish women would initially marry a be much greater than it is now.
man whose father is a gentile, once married, she would not ask for a Therefore, one should tell her that she may have problems bearing
divorce. Therefore, the young man is not obligated to reveal is origins children and it is thus preferable that she marry a man who already
(unless explicitly asked, in which case he would be forbidden to lie). has children.
So, too, in our case, since the physicians say that there is an over- However, if there is clearly a possibility that even this careful-
whelming chance that she will not repeat her act of attempted suicide, ly-worded warning will cause her to commit suicide or to mentally
she is not obligated to reveal her history. Once married, her husband collapse, then it is absolutely forbidden to tell her. One cannot sacri-
will not want to divorce her. Moreover, everyone has defects and he fice one life to save another.
too, did not reveal everything about himself.
A similar case is described in Orchos Rabbenu (Vol. 1, p. 270): There 1 AnsweR to Question 1
was a case of a young man who was brought a potential mate. He met
her but she refused the match. After some time, he lost his mind and All this relates to the young lady. In relation to the young man, if he is
was unbalanced for two years. Four years later the match was suggest- sterile, his situation is worse than the young woman who is infertile.

30 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein Telling a patient that he is sterile 2 39