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1 SuMMaRy and Conclusions who assisted him violated the prohibition of “Do not wrong….” Here
too, if the physician assists [the deception] then he too has violated 2
To question 1: A groom who does not reveal his mental illness to his the prohibition of doing wrong to another and of “Do not stand idly
bride violates the prohibition of “Do not wrong your fellowman”, and by the blood of your fellowman” (Vayikra 19:16). The Rambam writes
also the mitzvah of “You shall love your fellowman as yourself ”. (Hilchos Rotze’ach 1:14): “Anyone who is able to save a life but does
To question 2: If the defect is enormous and the bride would want not do so violates ‘Do not stand idly by the blood of your fellow-
to leave her husband, even if she is already married to him, there is a man.’ So, too, if one sees someone drowning in the river, or hears that
#
possibility that the marriage is a mistaken transaction (mekach ta’us). people are setting a trap for someone and does not tell him… then
To question 3: An illness that has passed does not have to be he transgresses the prohibition of ‘Do not stand idly by the blood of
revealed. In a woman, one must be concerned that the illness may your fellowman.’” Thus the physician will have transgressed by not
return because of childbirth. If the physician says it will not return, informing the prospective mate that he/she is falling into a trap.
one need not reveal it.
To question 4: If the sick man’s wife is suffering, the physician This is not the case regarding the children in the family who are
is obligated to help her. If he swore not to reveal secrets, he should not yet engaged in looking for a mate. In their case, there is no pos-
annul his oath. sibility of deception or of the prohibition of marriage without the
proper kiddushin. There is the real danger to the daughter; when she
hears she is a carrier, she can be endangered by the shock. In this case,
she takes precedence to her future groom. One should not inform
her that she is a carrier of a hereditary disease until the time comes
that she must know. And even if the physician may not find her years
later when she is seeking a marriage-partner, he is not obligated to
worry about that now. One must deal with troubles only in their time.
We can still ask, though, about informing those who are of mar-
riageable age that they are carriers. Why, in this case, do we give pre-
cedence to the potential spouse of the carrier and to the possibility of
an improper kiddushin? Why are we not concerned about the girl who
is a carrier, who may become emotionally distraught when we tell her
of her condition?
We can answer that if there is a real concern of pikuach nefesh, (such
as in the case of the nurse who, upon learning that she has no ovaries,
entered a state of shock and attempted suicide) then it is preferable
to do nothing. In our case, however, where there is only a distant
possibility of her really endangering her life, the prohibition of “Do
not stand idly by the blood of your fellowman” remains and we have
to concern ourselves with her potential groom. We must ensure that
he is not misled into a marriage that will cause him much suffering.

26 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein Telling a patient that he is sterile 2 43