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physician noted in the medical record that it appears that she has 2 ed again, and this time they both agreed to get married. Her family
no ovaries from birth. The nurse, who understood the note in her did not know that for two years, the young man was unbalanced. The
medical record, suddenly realized that she is not able to have children. uncle of the bride heard about it and asked the Steipler what to do.
She was shocked and wanted to kill herself from pain. In order to The Steipler answered him that since even while unbalanced the young
calm her down, the physician said to her: The matter is not certain man prayed every day and put on tefillin and went to shul, the illness
and there is still hope. has passed and will not return, and one should not reveal it to the girl.
Was the physician obligated to tell her the truth, as painful as it is, The couple is now happily married and their children are healthy. His
so that she will not marry a young man who is able to sire children? view is based on the story related in Tractate Yevamos (ibid).
It seems to me that perhaps since the young man did not com-
1 AnsweR to Question 2 pletely abandon his normal framework or totally fall apart, it is likely
that his unruly behavior was a result of pressure, such as being fired
Let us analyze the question regarding the nurse who is missing ova- from one’s job, or losing his money. Since he continued praying and
ries. putting on tefillin, his faith in Hashem would help restore his sanity,
This case raises concern for two people: 1. The young lady, who and therefore, with the blessing of the Kehillos Yaakov, he recovered.
may enter a state of shock upon learning of her condition. 2. The I heard from my brother-in-law, Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a, that
young man who is likely to suffer after his marriage to her. a young man who was about to get engaged concealed the fact that
It seems that we should not reveal to the young woman the painful he had once suffered a breakdown, was treated with pills, and fully
truth so long as there is no young man who wants to marry her. How- recovered. When Rav Chaim asked his father, the Kehillos Yaakov,
ever, once there is someone about to marry a young lady with such an if the young man is obligated to tell his bride about the matter, he
enormous defect, we are obligated to reveal it to him. This mitzvah is answered that since the breakdown was only temporary and he had
included in the Torah precept “You shall not stand idly by the blood been healthy for a number of years, he was probably not obligated
of your fellowman” (Vayikra 19:16), as explained in the Chafetz Chaim to say anything. Nonetheless, the Steipler advised him to reveal his
(Hilchos Rechilus principle 9, #3). It applies when the would-be groom past. If she would refuse to marry him, the Steipler blessed him that
is present before us, and we are forbidden to allow him to go ahead he would find a wonderful bride, even better than her. Indeed, that
and do something that will cause him great pain. However, so long is what occurred. The girl refused to marry him upon hearing of his
as he is not yet standing before us, we do not have to worry about past, but a short time later, he found his mate and they lived together
him. At this point, we should worry about hurting the young lady, joyfully.
and spare her the pain that knowledge of her condition will cause her. I spoke to my father-in-law, Rav Y. S. Elyashiv zt”l about this, and
Proof of the fact that the wellbeing of the person standing before he did not concur. The following is his reasoning, along with my ex-
us takes precedence to that of someone who will come in the future planation:
is in the words of the Ahavas Chesed (Mitzvas Halva’ah, Ch. 6, Netiv The girl’s attempt at suicide reflects a weakness in personality and
Hachesed #18). He writes that if a rich man asks for a loan, and one an inability to tolerate pressures. Since life in this world is not always
knows that his own rich relative will soon ask for a loan as well, he is comfortable, and there are always ups and downs, one has to be con-
obligated to lend the money to the man who came first. Even though cerned that her spirit may break again.
one’s relative usually takes precedence, in this case, one must give the This is especially true since a woman has to go through that which
38 1 Medical-HalacHic Responsa of Rav ZilbeRstein Revealing a bride's earlier attempt at suicide 2 31
