Page 8 - Pauza Magazine

arts & cultural experiences

Last Night The D.J.

Saved My Life

By Lakesh Abreu, MAK 17

It is 10:30pm. The center of Radovis is filled with can connect to the underlying need to be seen as
people eagerly waiting for friends and partners to a human being with equal rights. I see the wheels
make a grand entrance into CLUB 12. The resident turning in his head and he says “So the videos are
D.J. has dreams of studying music in New York, like brainwashing because the word is not a good
my hometown, so you can imagine how many word, but they use it like it is?” I smile the way a
conversations I have with him about the music teacher smiles when their student arrives at the
scene on a daily basis. It is great to talk shop with right answer.
him.
I affirm his connection and add “being the only
My colleagues arrive and we enter to sounds of black woman in Radovis would be like you being
house music. I think to myself that it is the little the only Macedonian in Africa.” His face fills with
comforts that make such a big difference, and what I understand to be worry and a bit of fear. We
remembering that is often a challenge for me. We giggle. I gather that once he realized that being
are directed to our table. The waiter greets us with a the only Macedonian in Africa would potentially
warm smile and politely records our order. When the be his worst nightmare, trying to defend the usage
waiter returns he gingerly asks, “So how is it being of the n-word seemed a bit trivial. The great thing
the only n***** in Radovis?” His smile is filled with about teachable moments is that you often have an
innocence, making his intent unclear. Thankfully, immediate impact with a long-term benefit. I do not
he is summoned to another table giving me a brief know what the long-term benefit will be but at least
moment to collect my thoughts and emotions. He I have two years, right?
returns, and with my little Macedonian and a smile,
I ask “Do you mean how do I feel being the only Our conversation ends and I become so engulfed
black woman in Radovis? I am not a n*****.” He with processing what just transpired that I don’t
senses my discomfort. I guess my smile was not notice who is purposefully listening and paying
convincing enough. He proceeds to express his attention. Of course, the D.J. managed to grasp the
confusion – “People use the word all the time, you context of the conversation. I do not know how this
know like in the hip hop music, so why is it wrong?” is possible because the music was so loud. Perhaps
This is a very decisive moment for me, I decide to he is good at reading lips. As I proceed to breathe
trust that this conversation is going in a positive one of the deepest breaths I have taken since my
direction. After all, this has great potential to be a arrival, I hear a familiar beat, an old school tune at
teachable moment, right? that, and here it is - “I’m Black and Proud” by James
Brown. I do not think I have ever loved this song as
With assistance from my colleagues I manage to much as I do in this moment. I thank the
say “The word is used to describe a person, a black D.J. for his awareness, and although
person, as less than human. I am not less than I am still unsure about the impact
human and that is why the word is wrong to me.” I the conversation had on us, it
am trying not to feel bad at my failed attempt to put is a cultural experience that
the word in a stronger context and I hope that he I will never forget.

The great thing about teachable moments is that you

often have an immediate impact with a long-term benefit.

8 – Pauza Magazine
8 – Pauza Magazine