Page 37 - Kindness - No Forward

their education, and much more. Someone at those companies has said “I
understand their dilemma, let’s do something about it.”

Someone empathized.

Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes

People are drawn to people who empathize. You should strive to show
your empathy every time you communicate.

The secret to empathy is to actually “thrust” yourself into whatever the
other person must be feeling at that time, to put yourself in the other
person’s shoes emotionally.
The nicest compliment that can be paid:
“I feel better about myself when I am with you.”

Effective empathy is a two-way street: it comes in as a feeling of
understanding for the other person and then this feeling of understanding
is returned in effective communication.

An article in USA Today concerning sexual harassment in public schools
had this quote: “We know that underlying a lot of this (sexual harassment)
is a basic lace of empathy among children,” says Joan Cole Duffell,
director of community education for the Committee for Children in Seattle.
“Many, many children are being raised with a real lack of social skills, and
one of the most critical is the ability to empathize. Sexual harassment is
just one example of how that’s manifested in school.”

Every time you communicate with someone, you display your empathy, or
lack of it, for them. From the secretary you first see in the morning to the
Chairman of the Board, from your child to your spouse, every time you
communicate you state clearly whether or not you are “tuned in” to that
person.

At some point in my management communications seminars, I ask whether
the attendees feel that their superiors empathize with them. The answer is
usually a disappointing if not overwhelming “NO!” This lack of empathy is
reflected in not having time to help, giving a feeling of “Not now, my
problem is bigger than yours. My problem affects the whole company!”

Lack of empathy is also reflected by those who can’t find time to
occasionally stroke an employee, or give a little work of appreciation or
encouragement for a tough task.