Page 33 - Kindness - No Forward

Call Them by Name

Another good way to establish a good rapport with another person is by
using their name.

No word is a sweet to an individual as their name.

It is a gift from their parents to them, one that no one shares. We can
“sweeten” our communication by using the listener’s name of a regular
basis. It reminds them that they are the sole focus of our interest at that
moment.

Let me note that there are lines we should not cross which take us from
courtesy into demeaning patronage when we overuse someone’s name.

Corrie ten Boom, author of The Hiding Place, tells the story of meeting an
elderly woman for the first time.

After a moment, ten Boom said, “I’m sorry; I’ve forgotten your name.”

The woman smiled kindly and said, “That’s all right…when someone is
introduced, the only name they usually hear is their own.”

I am reminded of this often when watching infommercials on television,
specifically the ones which sell the new “wonder” products.

These scenes often involve the host, with a name like “Don”, who plays the
role of an amazed straight man to the inventor of a wonder product, such
as a mop which will suck up a small lake or a rotisserie which will
simultaneously cook a turkey and a small whole hog.

The huckster…er, inventor, usually refers to “Don” by name around four or
five times per minute, by which time we are totally sick of both parties in
the conversation.

This type of overuse is irritating and annoying.

We want to use the other person’s name in a manner that lets them know
we know, and appreciate, who they are in a courteous, thoughtful way.

When saying another person’s name, make sure that your tone of voice
avoids sounding condescending or superior. Instead, use the person’s
name frequently in respectful tones and notice the continued interest they
will have in what you are saying.