Page 31 - Kindness - No Forward

Making Eye Contact Can Be A Challenge

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to talk with someone in the front
seat of a car when you are in the back seat and they’re not looking in your
direction?

This is an everyday example of how much eye contact adds to a
conversation. More can be communicated by a glance or a glare than an
entire conversation. Unfortunately, many people have developed a
tendency to avoid eye contact during a conversation.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

People begin to avoid making eye contact because of the discomfort they
have felt when they made eye contact during a moment of conflict. A
person can feel so much tension and discomfort in a situation like that,
they start to build a habit of not making eye contact in order to avoid those
uncomfortable feelings.

Another reason is that we just develop the bad habit of not looking our
listener in the eye and then never correct it.

Poor Eye Contact Sends the Wrong Message

We must be aware of the signals that poor eye contact sends:

• Lack of confidence
• Lack of belief in our message
• Intimidation by the other person

And just as making eye contact sends vital signal to the listener, the
listener is sending vital signals back to the speaker through their eyes.

By looking into a listener’s eyes, a speaker can get the answer to question
such as “Are you listening?” “Do you understand what I’m saying?” “Do
you care about what I’m saying?”

All the answers to these questions, and even more, are conveyed without a
word….through the eyes.

But how can we get these signals if we’re not watching?