Page 59 - Kindness - No Forward

We’re Entitled to Our Feelings, Too

While we’re talking about understanding the other person’s feelings, let’s
not forget that we’re entitled to our own feelings as well.

In his book, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, Dr. Manuel Smith provides a list of
ten assertive rights to which we are all entitled. I would like for you to pay
close attention to three of these:
1) You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and
emotion, and to take the responsibility for their initiation, and
consequences, upon yourself.
2) You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your
behavior.
3) You have the right to make mistakes….and be responsible for them.

In other words, you and you alone are the judge of your actions and
communication. You. Period.

For many of us, it is a tremendous relief when we finally accept this. We
are not surrounded by real judges, just some people who have made
themselves self-appointed judges.

You know them. They’re identified by comments like “Why are you doing
that?” “That’s not the way to do that.” “You shouldn’t act that way!”

Our decisions not to follow legal laws have specific consequences. Our
decisions not to follow moral or religious laws have similar results. Our
decisions not to do or say things the way someone else might do or say
them have no consequences.

So do it your way.