Page 64 - Kindness - No Forward

Silver Rule # 7
The Rule of Signals

We Must Be Aware of What Our Non-Verbal Signals Say

“Great minds comprehend more in a word, a look, a pressure of the hand
than ordinary men in long conversations or the most eloquent
correspondence.”
-Johann Kaspar
Lavater

Your attitude + your signals + your words = your message.

This is the first formula I teach my clients who want to improve their
communication skills.

The “signals” We’re referring to her include body language, tone of voice,
and eye contact. Poor communicators forget that if these communication
factors are not consistent, the message is cloudy

If a company says, “We care about our employees,” but their attitudes and
signals are not consistent with their words, the message is not clear. And
not received.

When a spouse or friend says “I love you,” but their attitudes and signals
say otherwise, the message is not clear. And not acknowledged.

Make Sure Your Signals Match Your Words

We communicate more with attitudes and signals than with words.

You could ask me about the new restaurant I tried this past weekend. If
you asked how the experience was, I might say “It was pretty good.”

Without hearing my tone, just knowing the words, you might not get my
true feelings about the experience. My tone speaks louder than my words.

For example, my responses of “Mmmmm, it was pretty good” with the
words trailing into silence would be different from “It was PRETTY good”
which would be different even still form “It was pretty GOOD!” The
emphasis on different syllables and words communicates my real feelings.

Watch your tone! It will carry more of your message than your words
alone.