Page 68 - Kindness - No Forward

It has been theorized that each of us has four sides to our behavior. These
sides are like window panes, through which other people observe us.

It is through these panes that the real us shows.

A technique was developed to help identify our behavior. This technique,
called Johari’s Window, can be very helpful in closing the gap between
how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.

Johari’s Window

There are four “window panes” to our behavior.

This first window pane is behavior we are aware of and that we put on
display for others.

The second window pane is behavior that we are aware of but that we
control and do not display.

The third window pane is behavior that we are not aware of and that we
don’t display. We don’t get in touch with it….we’ve never been in
circumstances to know who we would react.

The fourth window pane is behavior that we display but that we are not
aware of.

That fourth pane is the danger zone. This is what makes us appear as jerks
to others…and we don’t even know it!

Just as it is important to know that we are sending messages non-verbally,
it is important to be aware of the messages others are sending to us in the
same way.

Clichés such as “I had them on the edge of their seats” or “Keep a stiff
upper lip” indicate that we have a pretty good natural awareness of the
language of the body.

In observing the body language of others, we receive their non-verbal
signal which we can then compare to their words.

Remember, the message is never clear when the signals and the words
don’t match.