Page 61 - Kindness - No Forward

Know Your Space and When to Protect It

Occasionally, we are going to get in someone else’s “space”. We should
respect that person’s right to tell us when we do.

When someone’s personal space is invaded, it’s okay for that person to
say how they feel. Most of us, however, are reluctant to tell someone that
an action he or she is taking is bothering us.

As I write this book, a popular style of casual men’s shirts is colorful and
flowery. I like them and have some just like that. I have a friend and
business associate who hates them.

Occasionally, he will comment on my shirt and say “I hate that shirt! I
would never wear one like that; it looks like it should be framed and
hanging on a wall.”

Does he have the right to tell me that: Yes.

Should I be defensive? No. It is really not important that he approve of my
attire. It is not his space.

But what if my shirt were offensive, say with a sketch, writing, or picture on
it which could be considered offensive? Would I be in his space then?

Walking down the street, no (assuming nothing were illegal on the shirt).
But on a joint business call or social visit to a common friend, he would be
well within his assertive right to describe the feelings he has about my
wearing an offensive shirt when we are representing him.

The fine line that marks off someone else’s space is often crossed without
our being aware of it. It is important to recognize that person’s right to
assert themselves to protect their space just as we have the right to assert
ourselves for our own space.