Page 62 - Kindness - No Forward

You Can Assert Yourself without Being Judgmental

In his book, People Skills, Robert Bolton gives a good guide for effectively
describing behavior in non-judgmental means.
1) Describe the behavior in specific rather than fuzzy terms. In other
words, be very specific about the behavior that is causing your
feelings. Don’t use general terms like “When you ignore my
instructions…..” Use specifics like “When you report to work late
three times a week…”
2) Limit yourself to behavioral descriptions, avoiding inferences about
motives, character, etc. Again, use specific descriptions like “When
you cut people off before they are finished speaking…” as opposed
to “When you act rudely….” Specifically describe the behavior, not
what you think the motive might be.
3) Make your descriptions as brief as possible. There is no need to use
needless words in the description of the behavior. Be brief,
accurate, and to the point. Describe the behavior in stark clarity.
4) Be sure to assert about the real issues. Don’t be vague or
ambiguous. Describe the real issue, not some other topic that you
feel more comfortable with.

When we get in someone else’s space, expect to be told. When someone
gets in our space, tell them!

Express yourself…let the world know what you feel!

Do it your way. There is room for individualism and different points of
view.

Do it your way, with kindness, and watch the magnificent results.