Page 118 - YOU CAN WIN - SHIV KHERA

RokZRooM Special ! You Can Win by Shiv Khera

11. Give your opponent a graceful way to withdraw without hurting his pride. Rejection
can
be hurtful.
12. Use soft words but hard arguments rather than hard words & soft arguments .

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument. His strong and bitter words
only indicate a , weak cause.
During a discussion, it may be a good idea to use phrases such as:

♦ It appears to me ...
♦ I may be wrong ...

Another way to defuse arguments is by showing ignorance and asking questions such
as:

♦ Why do you feel that way?
♦ Can you explain a little?
♦ Can you be more specific?

If nothing works, it may be worthwhile to politely, gently, and with courtesy, agree to
disagree.

Step 14: Don't Gossip

Remember, people who gossip with you also gossip about you in your absence.
Gossiping and lying are closely related. A gossip listens in haste and repeats at leisure. A
gossip never minds his own business because he neither has a mind nor a business. A
gossip is more concerned about what he overhears than what he hears. Gossip is the art
of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid.
Someone said it well: "Small people talk about other people, mediocre people talk about
things, great people talk about ideas."
Gossip can lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are
as guilty as those who do the gossiping.
A gossip usually gets caught in his own mouth trap.
Gossip has no respect for justice. It breaks hearts, it ruins lives, it is cunning and
malicious. It victimizes the helpless. Gossip is hard to track down because it has no face
or name. It tarnishes reputations, topples governments, wrecks marriages, ruins careers,
makes the innocent cry, causes heartaches and sleepless nights. The next time you
indulge in gossip, ask yourself.

♦ Is it the truth?
♦ Is it kind and gentle?
♦ Is it necessary?
♦ Am I spreading rumors?
♦ Do I say positive things about others?
♦ Do I enjoy and encourage others to spread rumors?
♦ Does my conversation begin with, "Don't tell anyone?"
♦ Can I maintain confidentiality?

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