Page 24 - Journey of Hope by Raymond Moldenhauer

DAY29

TOUCHED

I spent the day with Heidi and Alyssa today. And for the first time, I touched her. I had
been praying for her, and watching her, and worrying about her, and wondering about
the future for her – but today I touched her hand and she, in return, held on to my little
finger. As we held on to each other, I said a prayer for her, asking God to protect her
and bless her, and I thought about how much I already knew her and loved her. And
that is what I will remember most about the day. The rest of the day went like this….

Upon arriving at the Ronald McDonald House this morning, I went in to look for Heidi in
the kitchen. I walked right by her as she was sitting at the computer in one of the living
room areas. She looked different to me today – she didn’t look like a “mom” that just
delivered a baby 4 weeks ago via a c-section, she looked like a beautiful young woman
athlete dressed in high fashion warm-ups going to play tennis. She confirmed that she
was feeling pretty good. So, together, we walked to the hospital this morning. We
arrived at the NICU around 10 AM. We both chuckled as we removed the blankets from
the top of the basinet to get our first glimpse of Alyssa. She was having a “bad hair
day”. Katie, the nurse assigned to Alyssa, told us she had just washed her hair.

During the night, Alyssa had broken her PICC line (the IV line that was inserted into her
arm several weeks ago as a more permanent means to allow easier access for fluids).
But, as you know, Alyssa is very active with her arms…..so it broke! Heidi placed a
pacifier in Alyssa’s mouth today as she was being tube fed to begin to associate sucking
with feeding. At her 3:00 care time, they had to replace her stoma bag – an unpleasant
experience as the stoma began to bleed (we were assured that it was not something to
be alarmed about – it happens from time to time).

When you are in the NICU for most of the day, a lot of it is spent just sitting in a rocking
chair and watching Alyssa. While I rocked and watched, I thought about how relaxing it
was to sit on a porch rocking chair in the summer time, with no cares, and just gaze at
the quiet, beautiful surrounding landscape – watching the tree limbs move from time
to time in the breeze or a bird fly by. Sitting in a rocking chair and just watching a
beautiful baby (your baby) quietly and peacefully sleep, and occasionally move her
arms and legs to stretch and reposition herself, is also very, very relaxing.