Page 29 - EH62

26 EASTERN HORIZON | FACE TO FACE

Our lives are subject to these sad, discomfort and pain; the mind will But much of the time—maybe most
long lists of pain. know stress and strain. Every day of the time—blaming doesn’t help.
we all experience lesser forms of The offending person isn’t going to
The usual approach to a bad suffering. Aches, pains, annoyance, change, the court’s verdict won’t be
experience is to bemoan it. anger, frustration, situational overturned, the medical diagnosis is

depression, feeling disrespected what it is, the divorce is final. When
So, yes, our lives are rife with or out of sorts—these experiences in times like that you insist on blame,
suffering. I hope none of the pervade our days. dismay, and obsession with the
readers of this book are victims of injustice of what happened, you are
the crushing forms of social and The usual approach to a bad adding injury to injury, making a bad
economic suffering that so many experience is to bemoan it. We say, situation worse, shooting a second
human beings endure. But even the “I can’t believe this is happening!” arrow into the arrow-punctured
most fortunate among us is touched and act as if it weren’t, even as it is. wound, as the Buddha once put it.
by suffering. No one avoids death, We refuse to accept it. Having gotten Going on like this—even if you have
illness, and loss. Nearly everyone is in an argument with reality, we look good reason—will erode your point
close to someone who suffers from for someone to blame so as to have of view and put you in danger of
addiction, serious health problems, an explanation. Usually it’s not so becoming a bitter person. So when
disgrace, financial ruin, divorce, hard to find a blameworthy person, what’s happened can’t be changed,
mental illness, or other serious persons, category of persons, or there’s no choice but to turn toward
troubles. Basic suffering has no maybe an institution. Or we can the difficult experience, whatever it is,
respect for social class. blame ourselves—or reality. and take it on. As Santideva succinctly
puts it, “If you can find a solution,
In order to be able to practice Sometimes assigning blame helps what’s the point of being upset? And
patience with these serious forms fix the situation, reverse the bad if you can’t find a solution, what’s the
of suffering, we have to start small. experience, or at least prevent it point of being upset?”
The perfection of patience proceeds from happening again. If someone
by familiarity—we start with steals my identity and drains my Too true! If you can fix the problem,
something manageable, get used bank account, I can take steps to why groan, moan, and jump up and
to that, then go on to something stop it. If I’m miserable because down wearing yourself and your
more daunting, understanding that a co-worker is disrespecting me, friends out? Fix it. If you can’t fix it,
we won’t need to produce some I can speak up with strength and what good will it do to groan, moan,
stronger suffering for our practice; let her or him know this treatment and jump up and down? Instead,
it will eventually come. is not all right. Maybe my co- why not recognize that the state
worker will stop. If I’m the victim of life you previously enjoyed has
Of course, life is also full of happy of racial or gender discrimination, ended and you are in a new state?
experiences, and neutral ones understanding the social dynamic Why not make something out of
too. Depending on your current will empower me and point a way that state? This is the practice of
circumstances, you could have forward. So, yes, when assigning patience.
mostly happy or neutral experiences blame for the purpose of taking
and not that many mildly difficult action is possible, we do it. What they haven’t understood is
or terrible ones—or the reverse. that difficult times are the most
But no matter your circumstances, Disasters are disasters. When bad fruitful time for spiritual practice
you are going to have some degree things happen, we suffer. Through because they are exactly when
of suffering every day because turning toward the suffering with the practice of patience comes
suffering is a built-in feature of body patience, bodhisattvas transform most into play.
and mind: the body will experience it into something meaningful.