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and the thoughts that inevitably go with the painful feelings that arise relationships. According to the
with them. When you do this, you in relationship to others is a key traditional teachings, anger is
will be surprised to discover within practice for bodhisattvas, whose never justified. Santideva begins
yourself a larger person, someone primary commitment is to love and his chapter on patience by saying
more forbearing, more dignified, and be of service to others. that a moment of anger can destroy
more courageous than you thought lifetimes of positive spiritual effort.
you were. It may seem masochistic To them, the end of suffering If that were literally the case, we
to practice like this, but developing doesn’t mean the end of physical would all be in plenty of trouble!
patience with unpleasant physical pain, failure, loss, alienation, But perhaps Santideva is only
sensations is perhaps the most fear, and other forms of suffering trying to scare us into recognizing
valuable thing you can learn from but rather the transformation of that we had better turn toward our
meditation practice. To be able to suffering into solidarity and love. anger and learn to understand it.
endure physical discomfort and Facing our anger is an important
pain with grace and composure is Imagine what life would be like acupressure point in our practice.
a valuable skill you will come to if we loved everyone, treated Santideva argues that it makes
appreciate as time goes on. everyone with unwavering positive no sense to get angry at another
regard, and were never in conflict person. His argument is, as usual,
This practice with physical with anyone. We would be happy imaginative and unexpected. Even
discomfort extends to emotional people. Most of the unhappy- when a person does terrible things,
pain. Once you get the point—in making factors in our lives would it isn’t that person who is at fault.
your body, and all the way to your be removed. Even if we got sick and It’s the passion inside them that
heart and soul—that avoiding had to undergo hardship, the loving has them in its clutches. They
pain, adjusting, blaming, and support of others would make that themselves are innocent victims
perseverating about it makes the difficult experience better. Even if of this passion. They really can’t
pain worse, you see that facing we were poor and in a bad social help it. So it’s irrational to be angry
pain with tolerance and dignity is situation, the love, support, and with them. We should be angry
much better. respect of others would make it at the passion. But what’s the
endurable. Our friends would help use of getting angry at a passion?
Patience with Suffering in us out and make sure we always had Santideva uses the analogy of a man
Relation to others: Anger the necessities of life. beating a dog with a stick. Stung

The second arena for the practice Of course, this isn’t how it is. by the stick, the dog immediately
of patience is in relation to others. We have plenty of trouble with gets angry and vigorously attacks
Despite the fact that relationships people in our lives. People will the stick, not understanding that it
are potentially the source of our behave badly, and we will get is the man wielding the stick, not
greatest joy, and love the fullest and upset. The practice of patience the stick itself, that is the agent. In
most positive human experience, calls for tolerance, understanding, the analogy, the stick stands for the
relationships are, as they say, forgiveness, compassion, and aggressive person who attacks you,
complicated. Meditation shines a loving-kindness toward others. It and the person wielding the stick
light on our own complications. It also takes into account that anger stands for the passion that grips the
shows us how stubborn, deceptive, and resentment will arise and we aggressive person. When you attack
and hard to deal with we are. So it will have to learn to live skillfully the aggressive person for what he
comes as no surprise to find that with such emotions. is doing to you, you are like the dog
others are the same. Inevitably, A great deal of the traditional foolishly going after the stick. What
human interaction gives rise to discussion of the practice of a waste of energy!
sticky, painful, and sometimes patience focuses on anger. This Practicing patience with the
tragic problems. Practicing patience makes sense. Anger poisons painful feelings that arise in