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32 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS

and giving love; we’re holding on good feelings to bring our way, then easier because now we know that
to someone. It often happens that we already fear a corresponding this person who comes to meet
the person we cling to doesn’t find reaction on our side, and so we us unlovingly is angry or enraged,
it especially pleasant and would be prefer to avoid such situations is most definitely unhappy. If she
glad to get rid of this clinger, because in advance. But if the heart is full were happy, she wouldn’t be angry
he or she can be a burden. And of love, then nothing will happen or enraged. Knowing about the
then comes the great surprise that to us, because we know that our other’s unhappiness makes it easier
the love affair isn’t working—but reaction will be completely loving. for us to summon up compassion,
we clung so devotedly! Clinging is Anxiety becomes unnecessary when especially when we’ve already
thus called the near enemy, because we’ve realized that everyone is the done so with respect to our own
it looks like real love. The big creator of his or her own karma. unhappiness.
difference between the two is the This feeling of love, which is aimed
possessiveness that marks clinging. not at only one person, but forms Unfortunately we often deal with
a basis for our whole interior life, our own suffering in the wrong
When no one is there to whom we is an important aid in meditation, way. Instead of acknowledging
can give love, that doesn’t in the because only through it is real it and meeting ourselves with
least mean that no love exists. The devotion possible. compassion, we try to escape our
love that fills one’s own heart is the trouble as quickly as possible by
foundation of self-confidence and developing self-pity or getting
security, which helps us not to be distracted or making someone else
afraid of anyone. responsible for it.

Such possessiveness proves, time Here compassion is the only
and time again, to be the end of love. possibility for meeting our
True, pure love, so famed in song difficulties. We experience exactly
and story, means that we can pass it what the Buddha teaches: in this
on and give it away from the heart Compassion world suffering exists. That’s the
without evaluation. Here we have The second of the four divine first Noble Truth. Then we can try to
to be on the lookout to recognize abodes—the highest emotions—is acknowledge what we really want
the negativity within us. We’re compassion, whose far enemy is to have or get rid of, and thus make
always searching for its causes cruelty and whose near enemy suffering our teacher. There is no
outside ourselves, but they’re not is pity. Pity can’t give others any better one, and the more we listen
there. They always lie in our gut and help. If someone pours out her to it and find a way into what it’s
darken our heart. So the point is: heart to us and we pity her, then trying to make us understand, the
Recognize, don’t blame, change! We two people are suffering instead of easier the spiritual path will prove.
must keep replacing the negative one. If by contrast we give her our This path aims to change us so
with the positive. When no one is compassion, we help her through emphatically that in the end we may
there to whom we can give love, her trouble. not even recognize ourselves.
that doesn’t in the least mean that
no love exists. The love that fills It’s very important to develop Suffering is a part of our existence,
one’s own heart is the foundation of compassion for oneself, because and only when we accept that and
self-confidence and security, which it’s the precondition for being able stop running away from it, when
helps us not to be afraid of anyone. to do so for others. If someone we’ve learned that suffering belongs
This fear can be traced back to our doesn’t meet us lovingly, it will be to life, can we let go—and then the
not being sure of our own reactions. easier for us to give this person suffering stops. With this knowledge
If we meet someone who has no compassion instead of love. It’s it’s much easier to develop