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TEACHINGS | EASTERN HORIZON 31

teachings on the four highest and only thing that holds us back is observe that we find more people
emotions. These are called in Pāli our thinking, judging mind. unlovable than otherwise. That
the brahmavihārās; or four divine too can bring no happiness. So we
abodes. They are loving-kindness, We’re all looking for an ideal world, should try to turn this around, and
compassion, sympathetic joy and but it can exist only in our own heart, find more and more people lovable.
equanimity. and for this we have to develop our We have to act like every mother:
heart’s capacity so that we learn to she loves her children even though
If we had only these four emotions love independently. they sometimes behave very badly.
at our disposal, we would have We can make this sort of approach
paradise on earth. Unfortunately So the only thing that matters is our goal and recognize it as our way
that’s not how it is, and so we rarely to incline one’s own heart to love, of practice.
experience any paradisiacal feelings. because the person who loves is
Most of the time we torment by nature lovable too. Yet if we
ourselves with difficulties in the love only because we want to be
family, in our circle of friends, and endearing, we succumb to the error
on the job. Our mind constantly tells of expecting results for our efforts.
us about all the things that don’t suit If an action is worth doing, then
it; and it usually fingers the guilty it doesn’t lose this value, whether
party, the person who’s bothering we get results or not. We don’t
us, who doesn’t want things the way love as a favor to another or to get
we want them. But let’s remember: something. We love for the sake of
whenever somebody else says or love, and so we succeed in filling
does something, it’s a matter of his our hearts with love. And the fuller
or her karma alone. Only a negative it gets, the less room there is for
reaction on our side creates our negatives. Loving Kindness
own karma. The Buddha called this kind of
The Buddha recommended love mettā, which is not identical
This is what we absolutely have looking upon all people as one’s to what we call love. “Craving” in
to understand: who is doing the own children. Loving all men and Pāli is lobha, which sounds rather
loving—myself or the other? If I women as if one were their mother like the English word for love; and
myself love, then I have a certain is a high ideal. But every little because the entire world revolves
purity of heart. But if the love is step toward this goal helps us to around wanting-to-have, we also
dependent on this or that person purify our hearts. The Buddha also interpret love this way. But that’s not
or situation, then I’m passing explained that it was quite possible love, because love is the will to give.
judgment and dividing people into that we already were mothers to Wanting to have is absurd, when we
those I think lovable and those I all the many men and women. If we think of love and yet degrade it to
don’t. We’re all looking for an ideal keep this fact before our eyes, it’ll this level. Although a loving heart
world, but it can exist only in our be much easier to get along with without wishes and limits opens up
own heart, and for this we have to people, even those who don’t strike the world in its purity and beauty,
develop our heart’s capacity so that us as lovable. we have made little or no use of this
we learn to love independently. This inherent capacity.
means that we increasingly purify If we observe ourselves very
our heart, free it from negativity, carefully—and that’s the point of The far enemy of love is obviously
and fill it with more and more love. mindfulness—we will find that hatred. The near enemy of love is
The more love a heart contains, the we ourselves are not one hundred clinging. Clinging means that we’re
more love it can pour out. The one percent lovable. We will also not standing on our own two feet