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Disasters are disasters. When bad of others are feeling it. So this pain first, patience with personal pain
things happen, we suffer. Through isn’t mine. It belongs to all of us. and hardship; second, patience with
turning toward the suffering with Being a person entails this pain. suffering caused by our interactions
patience, bodhisattvas transform So as I feel and suffer it, I feel and with others; and third, patience
it into something meaningful. suffer in solidarity and sympathy with the painful truths about our
One of the chief ways they do with others.” human life.
this is by expanding the nature of
the suffering through acts of the When I practice such reflections, Patience with personal hardship
imagination. I transform my personal suffering
into connection and love. I expand The first arena for practicing
Let’s say I am suffering because the word suffering from its patience is personal hardships
someone has treated me narrowest meaning, “to feel anguish such as physical pain, failed
disrespectfully, even scornfully. In and pain,” to its related, wider arrangements, not getting what you
the biggest picture of things, why meaning, “to allow”—to allow more want or feel you need, and so on.
would I care about this? When I was and more love and connection.
a child, my parents, to protect me As usual, meditation practice helps.
against schoolyard taunts, taught The practice of patience calls People take up meditation as stress
me the old saw, “Sticks and stones for tolerance, understanding, reduction, but meditation isn’t
will break your bones, but names forgiveness, compassion, and always so peaceful. Sometimes
can never hurt you.” Makes sense, loving-kindness toward others. it’s full of agitation, mental and
and, of course, it’s literally true. emotional jumble, even physical
Santideva says exactly the same Such imaginative deepening and pain. New meditators think that
thing: A word has no substance. ripening of suffering goes to the if these things occur they must
It’s just a vibration in the air that heart of what’s most valuable about be doing something wrong. But
disappears as soon as it’s uttered. the practice of patience. When we’re no, they’re normal, and they’re
How can it hurt you? Besides, the patient with our suffering rather opportunities to practice patience.
“you” that it could hurt is a chimera. than bemoaning it, we see that In the simple format of meditation,
There’s no “you,” just a floating suffering is expansive, connecting us just sitting there by yourself with
ongoing rush of impressions, warmly to the world and to others. no one to negotiate with and no
gestures, actions, memories, and so When suffering is “ours” instead of task to perform, you have the
on. How could a word hurt that? “mine,” it’s not suffering. My sorrow, perfect conditions for practicing
Still, it does. Even if it doesn’t make grief, or fear is painful, yet it’s patience. Take the issue of physical
sense, you feel upset when someone also sweet, because I share it with pain, an experience we naturally
diminishes and disrespects everyone. This is how bodhisattvas view as problematic. Working with
you. Despite Santideva’s wise understand the third noble truth of pain in meditation can be a way
perspective, you can’t talk yourself the Buddha: “the end of suffering.” to develop patience. Here’s a way
out of it. So bodhisattvas recognize To them, the end of suffering doesn’t to go about it: When physical pain
the feeling of suffering, and they mean the end of physical pain, arises in meditation, stay with
expand it. They know that the pain failure, loss, alienation, fear, and the breath and the sensations of
of disrespect is not just theirs; it’s a other forms of suffering but rather physical pain. Don’t move, don’t
basic human pain. They reflect like the transformation of suffering into adjust, even though you want to.
this: “The pain I’m feeling now is solidarity and love. Doing this will quickly show you
the same pain others feel when they how the mind runs away when
are disrespected. No doubt in this In traditional discussions of the it doesn’t like what’s going on.
very moment, as I am feeling this practice of patience, three arenas Gradually train your mind to stay
pain, thousands or even millions for the practice are distinguished: close to the unpleasant sensations