Page 242 - It Ends with Us

door. Atlas calmly takes the key s from me and I step aside as he opens

the door for me.
“Do you want me to make sure no one’s here?” he asks.
I no d. I kno w R yle isn’t here bec ause he’s on hi s way to Eng land ,
but I’m ho nes tly still a little scared to walk int o the apartment by
mysel f.
Atlas walks in bef ore me and flips on the light s. He cont inu es

walking thro ugh the apartment , flipping on all the light s and walking
int o ea ch of the rooms. When he makes it back to the living room, he
slides hi s ha nd s in hi s jacket pocket s. He takes a deep brea th and then
says, “I don’t kno w wha t ha ppens nex t, Lily.”
He does. He kno ws. He just does n’t want it to ha ppen, bec ause we
both kno w ho w much it hu rts to say goodbye to ea ch other.
I look away from hi m bec ause seei ng the look on hi s face right no w

cuts straight to my hea rt. I fold my arms over my ches t and stare at the
floor. “I ha ve a lot to work thro ugh, Atlas. A lot. And I’m scared I
won’t be able to do it with you in my life. ” I lift my ey es back to hi s. “I
ho pe you don’t take offens e to tha t, bec ause if any thi ng , it’s a
compliment .”
He reg ards me silent ly for a moment , no t at all surprised by wha t

I’m saying . But I can see there’ s so much he want s to say. There’ s a lot
I wish I could say to hi m, too, but we both kno w discussing the two of
us isn’t appropriate at thi s point . I’m marri ed . I’m preg na nt with
ano ther man’s baby. And he’s stand ing in the living room of an
apartment tha t ano ther man bought for me. I’d say thes e aren’ t ver y
good cond itions in whi ch to bring up all the thi ng s we sho uld ha ve
said to ea ch other a long time ago.

He looks at the door moment arily as if he’s trying to dec ide to
lea ve or spea k. I can see the twitch in hi s jaw right bef ore he locks
ey es with me. “If you ev er need me, I want you to call me, ” he says.
“But only if it’s an em erg enc y. I’m no t capable of bei ng casual with
you, Lily.”
I’m taken aback by hi s words, but onl y moment arily. As much as I

wasn’t ex pec ting hi m to admit it, he’s absolutel y right . Sinc e the day
we met , there ha s been no thing casual about our rel ations hi p. It’s
ei ther all in or no t in at all. Tha t’s why he sep arated ties when he lef t