Page 79 - PR Communication Age January-June2020

Wrap up with a summary and then When used appropriately, humor is a to express them without infringing on
stop. Summarize your response and great way to relieve stress when com- the rights of others.
then stop talking, even if it leaves a municating. When you or those
silence in the room. You don't have to around you start taking things too se- Express negative thoughts in a posi-
fill the silence by continuing to talk. riously, find a way to lighten the mood tive way. It's OK to be angry, but you
by sharing a joke or an amusing story. must remain respectful as well.
Quick stress relief for effective
Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, Receive feedback positively. Accept
communication
if you can both bend a little, you'll be compliments graciously, learn from
When a conversation starts to get
able to find a happy middle ground that your mistakes, ask for help when
heated, you need something quick and reduces the stress levels for everyone needed.
immediate to bring down the emo- concerned. If you realize that the other
tional intensity. By learning to quickly person cares much more about an is- Learn to say "no." Know your limits
reduce stress in the moment, you can sue than you do, compromise may be and don't let others take advantage of
safely take stock of any strong emo- easier for you and a good investment you. Look for alternatives so everyone
tions you're experiencing, regulate for the future of the relationship. feels good about the outcome.
your feelings, and behave appropri-
ately. Agree to disagree, if necessary, and Developing assertive communi-
take time away from the situation so cation techniques
Recognize when you're becoming everyone can calm down. Go for a
stressed. Your body will let you know stroll outside if possible, or spend a few Empathetic assertion conveys sensitiv-
if you're stressed as you communicate. minutes meditating. Physical move- ity to the other person. First, recognize
Are your muscles or stomach tight? ment or finding a quiet place to regain the other person's situation or feelings,
Are your hands clenched? Is your your balance can quickly reduce stress. then state your needs or opinion. "I know
breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" you've been very busy at work, but I
want you to make time for us as well."
to breathe? Skill 4: Assert yourself
Direct, assertive expression makes for Escalating assertion can be employed
Take a moment to calm down before
clear communication and can help when your first attempts are not suc-
deciding to continue a conversation or
boost your self-esteem and decision- cessful. You become increasingly firm
postpone it.
making skills. Being assertive means as time progresses, which may include
Bring your senses to the rescue. The expressing your thoughts, feelings, and outlining consequences if your needs
best way to rapidly and reliably relieve needs in an open and honest way, are not met. For example, "If you
stress is through the senses-sight, while standing up for yourself and re- don't abide by the contract, I'll be
sound, touch, taste, smell-or move- specting others. It does NOT mean forced to pursue legal action."
ment. For example, you could pop a being hostile, aggressive, or demand-
peppermint in your mouth, squeeze a ing. Effective communication is always Practice assertiveness in lower risk
stress ball in your pocket, take a few about understanding the other person, situations to help build up your confi-
deep breaths, clench and relax your not about winning an argument or dence. Or ask friends or family if you
muscles, or simply recall a soothing, forcing your opinions on others. can practice assertiveness techniques
sensory-rich image. Each person re- on them first.
sponds differently to sensory input, so To improve your assertiveness:
you need to find a coping mechanism Value yourself and your options. Authors:
that is soothing to you. They are as important as anyone else's. Lawrence Robinson
Jeanne Segal, Ph. D., and
Look for humor in the situation. Know your needs and wants. Learn Melinda Smith, M.A.

"When you go looking for love, love comes looking for you."

PR COMMUNICATION AGE January - June 2020 79