Page 77 - PR Communication Age January-June2020

There's a big difference between en- subtle nuances and important nonver- understand them. The most difficult
gaged listening and simply hearing. bal cues in a conversation. If you find communication, when successfully ex-
When you really listen-when you're it hard to concentrate on some speak- ecuted, can often lead to an unlikely
engaged with what's being said-you'll ers, try repeating their words over in connection with someone.
hear the subtle intonations in your head-it'll reinforce their message
someone's voice that tell you how that and help you stay focused. Provide feedback. If there seems to be
person is feeling and the emotions a disconnect, reflect what has been
they're trying to communicate. When Favor your right ear. As strange as it said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hear-
you're an engaged listener, not only sounds, the left side of the brain con- ing is," or "Sounds like you are saying,"
will you better understand the other tains the primary processing centers are great ways to reflect back. Don't
person, you'll also make that person for both speech comprehension and simply repeat what the speaker has
feel heard and understood, which can emotions. Since the left side of the said verbatim, though-you'll sound in-
help build a stronger, deeper connec- brain is connected to the right side of sincere or unintelligent. Instead, ex-
tion between you. the body, favoring your right ear can press what the speaker's words mean
help you better detect the emotional to you. Ask questions to clarify certain

By communicating in this way, you'll nuances of what someone is saying. points: "What do you mean when you
also experience a process that lowers say…" or "Is this what you mean?"
stress and supports physical and emo- Avoid interrupting or trying to redi-
tional well-being. If the person you're rect the conversation to your con- Skill 2: Pay attention to
talking to is calm, for example, listen- cerns. By saying something like, "If you nonverbal signals
think that's bad, let me tell you what
ing in an engaged way will help to calm
happened to me." Listening is not the The way you look, listen, move, and
you, too. Similarly, if the person is agi-
same as waiting for your turn to talk. react to another person tells them
tated, you can help calm them by lis-
You can't concentrate on what more about how you're feeling than
tening in an attentive way and making
someone's saying if you're forming words alone ever can. Nonverbal com-
the person feel understood.
what you're going to say next. Often, munication, or body language, includes
the speaker can read your facial ex- facial expressions, body movement and
If your goal is to fully understand and
pressions and know that your mind's gestures, eye contact, posture, the
connect with the other person, listen-
elsewhere. tone of your voice, and even your
ing in an engaged way will often come
muscle tension and breathing.
naturally. If it doesn't, try the follow-
Show your interest in what's being
ing tips. The more you practice them,
said. Nod occasionally, smile at the Developing the ability to understand
the more satisfying and rewarding
person, and make sure your posture is and use nonverbal communication can
your interactions with others will be-
open and inviting. Encourage the help you connect with others, express
come.
speaker to continue with small verbal what you really mean, navigate chal-
comments like "yes" or "uh huh." lenging situations, and build better
Tips for becoming an engaged relationships at home and work.
listener Try to set aside judgment. In order to Y You can enhance effective com-
Focus fully on the speaker. You can't communicate effectively with some- munication by using open body
listen in an engaged way if you're con- one, you don't have to like them or language-arms uncrossed, stand-
stantly checking your phone or think- agree with their ideas, values, or opin- ing with an open stance or sitting
ing about something else. You need to ions. However, you do need to set on the edge of your seat, and
stay focused on the moment-to-mo- aside your judgment and withhold maintaining eye contact with the
ment experience in order to pick up the blame and criticism in order to fully person you're talking to.

"Your age doesn't earn you respect, your behavior does."

PR COMMUNICATION AGE January - June 2020 77