Page 144 - That’s Crazy ebook
P. 144
That’s Crazy
told me I was not going to heaven because, as a Catholic, we think the
only way to heaven is through penance. I was just flabbergasted; in my
mind I heard him telling me I was going to hell because I was born
Catholic. It went downhill from there. We started the counseling
session. He asked me to start first; he asked me what the problem was.
I told him lying, cheating and drinking. In what order did he want me
to start? He said we would start with the drinking.
He asked Leroy if he had a problem with drinking. Crazy Leroy
told him the same crap – that I had the problem with his drinking. The
pastor asked him what he drank, that was when I almost fell out of my
chair. He told the pastor that he liked some clear liquor now and then
and that he drinks some dinner wine. I could not keep quiet because
he was acting like he was drinking some nice expensive White Zinfandel.
I told the pastor he was drinking “Wild Irish Rose” and that he stopped
at the liquor store every morning to pick up his $3.99 bottle. The
pastor asked him if it was true. He finally told the truth.
The pastor then asked me about the cheating. (My cousin always
told me I hold out on information like I am playing spades.) I told him
about Ms. Moore and the late-night phone calls. I also told him I had
found condoms in the bag that Leroy carries to work every day. It was
my trump card because Leroy did not know I had been snooping in
his bags. I found them shortly before I found the cell phone bills.
The pastor asked him about Ms. Moore, Crazy Leroy started
telling the pastor she was just a customer. The pastor could not even
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