Page 142 - Essentials of Human Communication

The Principles of Conversation 121

COmmunICATInG eThICAlly

your Obligation to Reveal yourself

If you're in a close relationship, you may have an ethical obligation to reveal certain things about yourself. Con-
versely, you may feel that the other person—because he or she is so close to you—has an ethical obligation to
reveal certain information to you.
ethical Choice Point
At what point do you have an ethical romantic Friend Consider at what point in a relation-
obligation to reveal your true: Partner ship, if any, you feel you would have
Age an ethical obligation to reveal each
of the 10 items of information listed
History of family genetic disorders here. Visualize your relationship as
existing on a continuum from initial
HIV status contact at 1 to extreme intimacy at
10, and use the numbers from 1 to
Past sexual experiences
10 to indicate at what point you
Marital history would feel an ethical obligation to
reveal these items of information. If
Annual salary and net financial worth you feel you would never have the
obligation to reveal this informa-
Affectional orientation tion, use 0. As you respond to these
items, ask yourself, In what types of
Attitudes toward other races and nationalities
relationships and at what point in
Religious beliefs these relationships do you incur an
obligation to reveal personal infor-
Past criminal activity or incarceration mation about yourself?

There are, of course, many gradations between these extremes. Some friendships, for
example, are casual; others are highly intimate. Romantic pairs vary in their levels of intimacy,
and so do families.
This chapter introduces interpersonal communication, explains the process of conversa-
tion and some of its essential principles, and tackles some everyday conversation situations.

The Principles of Conversation Explore the Concept
“Talkaholic Scale”
at MyCommunicationLab
Although conversation is an everyday process and one we seldom
think about, it is, like most forms of communication, governed by
several principles. Especially important are the principles of Business
(1) process, (2) turn-taking, (3) dialogue, (4) immediacy,
(5) flexibility, and (6) politeness.
Feedforward Feedback
The PrinCiPle OF PrOCess: COnversATiOn
is A DevelOPMenTAl PrOCess Opening Closing
Conversation is best viewed as a process rather than as an act. It’s Figure 6.2
convenient to divide up this process into chunks or stages and to A Five-stage Model of Conversation
view each stage as requiring a choice as to what you’ll say and how This model of the stages of conversation is best seen as a way of
you’ll say it. Here we divide the sequence into five steps: (1) opening, talking about conversation and not as a hard-and-fast depiction
(2) feedforward, (3) business, (4) feedback, and (5) closing (see of stages all conversations follow. As you review the model, con-
Figure 6.2). These stages and the way people follow them will vary sider how accurately it depicts conversation as you experience it.
depending on the personalities of the communicators, their culture, Can you develop a more accurate and more revealing model?