Page 164 - Essentials of Human Communication

Interpersonal Relationship Types 143

Objectives Self-Check
● Can you explain the varied stages of interpersonal relationships (contact, involvement, intimacy,
deterioration, dissolution, and repair)?
● Can you provide examples of the types of messages that occur at each of these stages?

For a brief discussion of
Interpersonal Relationship types gay-straight friendships, their
problems and advantages, see
Each relationship, whether friendship or love, for example, is unique. Yet there are general “Friendship, Gay and Straight” at
tcbdevito.blogspot.com. How
types that research has identified—and these categories will offer considerable insight into do you see such friendships?
your own interpersonal relationships. Here we consider friendship, love, family, work, and
online-only relationships. Communication
Choice point
Moving through
FRienDShip Relationship Stages
One theory of friendship identifies three major types that we can easily see in our Your current romantic part-
own face-to-face and online relationships: (1) friendship of reciprocity, (2) friend- ner seems to be moving too fast for your
ship of receptivity, and (3) friendship of association (Reisman, 1979, 1981). liking. You want to take things a lot slower,
yet you don’t want to turn this person off;
● The friendship of reciprocity, the ideal type, is characterized by loyalty, self- this may be The One. What might you say
sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity. This type of friendship is based on (and where might you say it) to get your part-
equality, where each individual shares equally in giving and receiving the bene- ner to proceed more slowly?
fits and rewards of the relationship.
● In the friendship of receptivity, in contrast, there is an imbalance in giving and receiv-
ing; one person is the primary giver and the other the primary receiver.
This is a positive imbalance, however, because each person gains some-
thing from the relationship. The different needs of both the person who
receives affection and the person who gives it are satisfied. This is the
friendship that may develop between a teacher and a student or be-
tween a doctor and a patient. In fact, a difference in status is essential
for the friendship of receptivity to develop.
● The friendship of association is transitory; it might be described as a
friendly relationship rather than a true friendship. Associative friend-
ships are the kind you have with classmates, neighbors, or coworkers.
There is no great loyalty, no great trust, no great giving or receiving.
The association is cordial but not intense.

lOve
Like friendships, romantic partnerships come in different styles as well.
Six primary love styles have been identified (Lee, 1976; Hendrick &
Hendrick, 1990):
● Eros love seeks beauty and sensuality and focuses on physical attrac-
tiveness, sometimes to the exclusion of qualities others might consider
more important and more lasting. The erotic lover has an idealized
image of beauty that is unattainable in reality. Consequently, the erotic
lover often feels unfulfilled.
● Ludic love seeks entertainment and excitement and sees love as fun, a ViewpOintS
game. To the ludic lover, love is not to be taken too seriously; emotions Online Dissolution
are to be held in check lest they get out of hand and make trouble. The As more relationships are established and maintained
ludic lover retains a partner only so long as the partner is interesting online, more of them are also dissolved online. How
and amusing. When the partner is no longer interesting enough, it’s would you describe the “rules” for breaking up online
time to change. versus face-to-face? What are the major differences?