Page 159 - Essentials of Human Communication

138 ChApteR 7 Interpersonal Relationships

5. As plants are heliotropic and orient themselves to light, humans
are stimulotropic and orient themselves to sources of stimula-
tion (Davis, 1973). Human contact is one of the best ways to se-
cure this stimulation—intellectual, physical, and emotional.
Even an imagined relationship seems better than none.

Now, respond to these sentences as you did to the above.
_____ 6. My relationships put uncomfortable pressure on me to ex-
pose my vulnerabilities.
_____ 7. My relationships increase my obligations.
_____ 8. My relationships prevent me from developing other
relationships.
_____ 9. My relationships scare me because they may be difficult to
dissolve.
_____ 10. My relationships hurt me.

These statements express what most people would consider dis-
advantages of interpersonal relationships.
6. Close relationships put pressure on you to reveal yourself and to ex-
pose your vulnerabilities. Although this is generally worthwhile in the
context of a supporting and caring relationship, it may backfire if the
relationship deteriorates and these weaknesses are used against you.
ViewpOintS 7. Close relationships increase your obligations to other people,
parasocial Relationships sometimes to a great extent. Your time is no longer entirely your
own. And although you enter relationships to spend more time
Parasocial relationships are relationships that audience with these special people, you also incur time (and perhaps finan-
members perceive themselves to have with media personal-
ities (Rubin & McHugh, 1987; Giles, 2001; Giles & Maltby, cial) obligations with which you may not be happy.
2004). At times viewers develop these relationships with real 8. Close relationships can lead you to abandon other relationships.
media personalities—Wendy Williams, Anderson Cooper, or Sometimes the other relationship involves someone you like, but
Ellen DeGeneres, for example—and at other times the rela- your partner can’t stand. More often, however, it’s simply a matter
tionship is with a fictional character—an investigator on CSI, of time and energy; relationships take a lot of both and you have
a scientist on Bones, or a doctor on a soap opera. What’s your less to give to these other and less intimate relationships.
view of parasocial relationships? Are there advantages to
these relationships? Disadvantages? What’s your experience 9. The closer your relationships, the more emotionally difficult they
with parasocial relationships? are to dissolve, a feeling which may be uncomfortable for some
people. If a relationship is deteriorating, you may feel distress or
depression. In some cultures, for example, religious pressures may
prevent married couples from separating. And if considerable money is involved, dissolving
a relationship can often mean giving up the fortune you’ve spent your life accumulating.
10. And, of course, your partner may break your heart. Your partner may leave you—against
all your pleading and promises. Your hurt will be in proportion to how much you care
and need your partner. If you care a great deal, you’re likely to experience great hurt; if
you care less, the hurt will be less—it’s one of life’s little ironies.

Objectives Self-Check
● Can you describe the advantages and disadvantages of interpersonal relationships?
● Can you assess your own relationships in light of these advantages and disadvantages?

the Stages of Interpersonal Relationships

Explore the Concept As a preface to this discussion, realize that different cultures will view relationships very dif-
“Relationships” at ferently. What is presented here is generally derived from research conducted in the United
MyCommunicationLab
States, and so, for example, the assumption made is that you voluntarily choose your rela-
tionship partners—that you consciously choose to pursue certain relationships and not