Page 155 - Essentials of Human Communication

134 ChAPTeR 6 Interpersonal Communication and Conversation

● be specific. Direct your compliment at something specific rather than something general.
Instead of saying, “I liked your story,” you might say, “I liked your story—it made me
Explore the Exercise “Giving realize something I had forgotten. . . .”
and Receiving Compliments”
at MyCommunicationLab ● be personal in your own feelings—“Your song really moved me; it made me recall so many
good times.” But don’t be personal about the other person: “Your hair looks so natural; is
that a weave or a toupee?”

receiving a Compliment In receiving a compliment, people generally take either one
of two options: denial or acceptance. Many people deny the compliment (“It’s nice of you to
say, but I know I was terrible”), minimize it (“It isn’t like I wrote the great American novel; it
was just an article that no one will read”), change the subject (“So, where should we go for
dinner?”), or say nothing. Each of these responses denies the legitimacy of the compliment.
Accepting the compliment is a much better alternative. An acceptance might be communi-
cated in three ways: (1) just smile, with eye contact—avoid looking at the floor, (2) simply say
“thank you,” and(3) offer a personal reflection in which you explain (very briefly) why the
compliment is important to you (“I really appreciate your comments; I worked hard on the
project and it’s great to hear it was effective”).

Objectives self-Check
● Can you make effective small talk?
● Can you formulate effective apologies?
● Can you give and receive compliments comfortably?

Messages in the Media Wrap Up
As you watch shows revolving around sports commentators, consider the principles of conversation discussed
in this chapter. Very probably, those interviewers and interviewees who follow the suggestions offered here are
going to present an interesting show; those that violate the rules are likely to bore the audience. Analyzing why
and how this happens will help you learn the principles of conversation.

Summary of Concepts and Skills Study and Review materials for this chapter
are at MyCommunicationLab

turns; these cues enable the speaker and listener to
Listen to the Audio Chapter
Summary at MyCommunicationLab communicate about the communication in which
they’re engaged.
This chapter explored interpersonal communication and the 3. Speakers regulate the conversation through two major
principles of conversation and some common everyday con- types of cues: turn-maintaining cues and turn-yielding
versations. cues. Listeners regulate the conversation by using three
types of cues: turn-requesting cues, turn-denying cues,
The Principles of Conversation and back-channeling cues and interruptions.
4. Dialogue is conversation in which there is genuine two-
1. The process of conversation consists of five general stages: way interaction; each person is both speaker and listener,
opening, feedforward, business, feedback, and closing. sender and receiver. Monologue communication is the
2. Throughout the speaking–listening process, both opposite: One person speaks and the other listens—
speaker and listener exchange cues for conversational there’s no real interaction between participants.