Page 160 - Essentials of Human Communication

The Stages of Interpersonal Relationships 139

others. In some cultures, however, your parents choose your romantic partner for you. In
some cases your husband or wife is chosen to unite two families or to bring some financial
advantage to your family or village. Explore the Exercise
In the United States, researchers study and textbook authors write about dissolving rela- “Analyzing Stage Talk” at
tionships and how to survive relationship breakups. It’s generally assumed that you have the MyCommunicationLab
right to exit an undesirable relationship. However, in some cultures you simply cannot dis-
solve a relationship once it has been formed or once there are children. More important to
such cultures may be issues such as how to maintain a relationship that has problems, what to
do to survive in an unpleasant relationship, and how to repair a troubled relationship
(Moghaddam, Taylor, & Wright, 1993).
You and another person don’t become intimate friends immediately on meeting. Rather,
you build an intimate relationship gradually, through a series of steps or stages. The same is
true of most relationships.
The model in Figure 7.1 describes the six main stages in relationships: contact, involve-
ment, intimacy, deterioration, repair, and dissolution, each of which has an early and a late

Contact
• Perceptual Exit
• Interactional

Involvement
• Testing Exit
• Intensifying

Intimacy
• Interpersonal
commitment Exit
• Social bonding

Repair Deterioration Dissolution
• Intrapersonal • Intrapersonal • Interpersonal
repair dissatisfaction separation Exit
• Interpersonal • Interpersonal • Social/public
repair dissatisfaction separation

FiguRe 7.1
the Six Stages of Relationships
Because relationships differ so widely, it’s best to think of this or any relationship model as a tool for
talking about relationships rather than as a specific map that indicates how you move from one rela-
tionship position to another. Can you identify other steps or stages that would further explain what
goes on in relationship development? What happens when the two people in a relationship experi-
ence the stages differently? Can you provide an example from literature or from your own experience?