Page 158 - Essentials of Human Communication

Advantages and Disadvantages of Interpersonal Relationships 137

ontact with other human beings is so important that when you’re deprived of it for long
Cperiods, depression sets in, self-doubt surfaces, and you may find it difficult to manage
even the basics of daily life. Research shows clearly that the most important contributor to
happiness—outranking money, job, and sex—is a close relationship with one other person
(Freedman, 1978; Laroche & deGrace, 1997; Lu & Shih, 1997). The desire for relationships is
universal; interpersonal relationships are important to men and to women, to homosexuals
and to heterosexuals, to young and to old (Huston & Schwartz, 1995). Not surprisingly, this
seems the principle motivation for much of social media communication.
This chapter looks at some of the advantages and disadvantages of interpersonal rela-
tionships, the stages of relationships, the varied types of relationships, theories that explain
why we enter and exit relationships, and the influence of culture, technology, and work on
our relationships.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Interpersonal
Relationships

A good way to begin the study of interpersonal relationships is to examine your own relation-
ships (past, present, or those you look forward to) by asking yourself what your relationships
do for you. What are the advantages and the disadvantages? Visualize a 10-point scale on
which 1 indicates that your relationship(s) never serves this function, 10 indicates that your
relationship(s) always serves this function, and the numbers in between indicate levels be-
tween these extremes. You may wish to do this twice—once for your face-to-face relation-
ships and once for your online relationships.

_____ 1. My relationships help to lessen my loneliness.
_____ 2. My relationships help me gain in self-knowledge and in self-esteem.
_____ 3. My relationships help enhance my physical and emotional health.
_____ 4. My relationships maximize my pleasures and minimize my pains.
_____ 5. My relationships help me to secure stimulation (intellectual, physical,
and emotional).

Let’s elaborate just a bit on each of these commonly accepted advantages of interpersonal
communication:

1. One of the major benefits of relationships is that they help to lessen loneliness (Rokach,
1998; Rokach & Brock, 1995). They make you feel that someone cares, that someone likes
you, that someone will protect you, that someone ultimately will love you.
2. Through contact with others you learn about yourself and see yourself from different per-
spectives and in different roles, as a child or parent, as a coworker, as a manager, as a best
friend. Healthy interpersonal relationships help enhance self-esteem and self-worth. Sim-
ply having a friend or romantic partner (at least most of the time) makes you feel desir-
able and worthy.
3. Research consistently shows that interpersonal relationships contribute significantly to
physical and emotional health (Goleman, 1995; Pennebacker, 1991; Rosen, 1998; Rosen-
gren, 1993) and to personal happiness (Berscheid & Reis, 1998). Without close interper-
sonal relationships you’re more likely to become depressed—and this depression, in turn,
contributes significantly to physical illness. Isolation, in fact, contributes as much to
mortality as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, smoking, or lack of physical
exercise (Goleman 1995).
4. The most general function served by interpersonal relationships, and the function that
encompasses all the others, is that of maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain. Your
good friends, for example, will make you feel even better about your good fortune and less
hurt when you’re confronted with hardships.