Page 191 - Essentials of Human Communication

170 ChaPter 8 Managing Interpersonal Conflict

Communication Instead of being verbally aggressive, try to practice argumentativeness (Infante,
Choice Point 1988; Rancer & Avtgis, 2006):
verbal aggressiveness ● Treat disagreements as objectively as possible. Avoid assuming that, because some-
Your partner engages in one takes issue with your position or your interpretation, they’re attacking you as
verbal aggression whenever you have an a person.
argument. Regardless of what the conflict is
about, you feel that your self-concept is ● Center your arguments on issues rather than personalities. Avoid attacking a
attacked. What are some of the things you person (rather than a person’s arguments), even if this would give you a tactical
might say or do to stop these attacks? What advantage—it will probably backfire at some later time and make your relation-
channel(s) would you use? ship or group participation more difficult.
● Reaffirm the other person’s sense of competence. Compliment the other person as
appropriate.
● allow the other person to state her or his position fully. Do this before you respond and, of
course, avoid interrupting.
● Stress equality. Stress the similarities that you have with the other person or persons;
stress your areas of agreement before attacking with disagreements.
● express interest in the other person’s position, attitude, and point of view.
● avoid getting overemotional. Avoid using an overly loud voice or interjecting vulgar
expressions that will prove offensive and eventually ineffective.
● allow people to save face. Never humiliate another person.

video Choice Point
Conflict strategies
Pat and Andi, a dating couple, just won the top prize in their Fantasy Football league. They
have enjoyed working together to build a winning team, but now that they’ve won, they cannot agree on
what to do with the money. As demonstrated in this chapter, they have a variety of conflict resolution
strategies to deal with this problem. See how their conflict resolution choices play out in the video
“Conflict Strategies”.
Watch the Video “Conflict Strategies” at MyCommunicationLab

Objectives self-Check
● Can you describe and distinguish between the popular conflict management strategies (avoid-
ance and fighting actively, force and talk, defensiveness and supportiveness, face-attacking and
face-enhancing strategies, silencers and facilitating open expression, gunnysacking and present
focus, and verbal aggressiveness and argumentativeness)?
● Can you use the more effective strategies in your own conflict management interactions?

Messages in the Media Wrap Up

In addition to sports, all varieties of television shows—from talk shows to sitcoms and dramas—provide vivid
examples of conflict and the varied ways in which characters or contestants can deal with it. You will most likely
see the principles and pitfalls discussed here echoed in the conflict resolution strategies depicted in these
programs.