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How To Survive Baby Loss



               company offers an employee assistance program (EAP) that can
               provide eight to ten counseling sessions per year.

                  Have a “point person” to delegate finding friends and fam-
               ily to help with meals, playdates for your living children, or
               help with cleaning and laundry. Please don’t hesitate to take
               any help offered. When offered a vague, “if you need help with
               anything,” accept it gratefully and ask for something specific.
               Even if it is a few weeks or months afterward, ask when you
               need help.

               In the First Month Post Loss

               The shock, sadness, and anger sets in, but we often have a buffer
               to the pain. The buffer comes in different forms, such as meals
               from loved ones. Perhaps you feel seen and heard in the car-
               ing facebook or instagram messages, calls, or cards. Personally,
               I was floating on cards, kindness, and meals during the first
               three weeks, sharing our pictures and story with visitors, as we
               had printed pictures of our son to show how proud we were of
               him when visitors came. I spent time crying, especially at night,
               while I was trying to figure out how we could help our living
               daughter process grief. Our daughter got her own little album
               that had special pictures of her and her baby doll, time with her
               parents, and her nana and papa. This is a bittersweet memory
               because the outcome was out of our control, and we needed to
               help her start to process her personal loss. Even if your baby
               was in a state that you felt like others would not handle the raw
               pictures well, a parent should have the freedom to share if they
               want to, so feel free to share based on your comfort level.
                  You should have a follow up appointment with your provid-
               er within the first two to three weeks. The doctor or midwife
               may advise you to wait three months to one year before starting
               to try again for another pregnancy. You may feel an unexpected
               pressure may be to have another child right away, or you may
               struggle wondering if you even want to. Don’t make any big
               decisions yet. It’s too early, and the pain is too fresh to make
               the right decision for you. It may be best to wait a while before





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