Page 15 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

What to Expect Within the Unexpected

If your baby was premature and you don’t qualify for the
burial or cremation, find your own personal way to handle the
body, because it matters even if it doesn’t qualify. There are
ministries that make small coffins for those who don’t quali-
fy for an official burial plot. Just search the internet with the
phrase “premature caskets” to find one. A friend made her own
and had a meaningful burial in a very large pot to grow a tree
in their remembrance. Another birthed her fourteen week old
baby and buried her at home with her husband in a private
ceremony. If you do not have a body to see or he or she has al-
ready been disposed of, then mark their significance with jewel-
ry, plants, artwork, or something else to stand in remembrance
of their existence in your heart. If your child does qualify for
burial or cremation, you can let others help you make funeral
arrangements, or you can make them exclusively. You can ask
someone to go with you, or you can go alone to, in the case of
cremation, view the body and pick up the ashes and death cer-
tificate. In case of burial, you will go to pick up the body and
death certificate.

If you need more time off that you thought, ask someone
to contact your boss or Human Resources department and re-
quest as much time off as you can get. Plan to use a few mental
health or sick days if needed. You can also request family medi-
cal leave assistance (FMLA) if longer recovery is needed or you
need intermittent time off.
During this time, ask a family member to listen to you vent.
Tell them what you need from them, so they are not trying to
give you advice when you just need to be heard. Many people
do not know how to just listen, and will be relieved to hear from
you exactly what you need from them. Take up journaling to
express your thoughts. You can also engage in adult coloring or
drawing to release pressure and express your feelings. Don’t be
afraid to seek a counselor if you need to during this time for ex-
tra support. If your mental health is suffering, there is no shame
in this. Some counselors have a sliding scale on their rates for
those who cannot afford to pay much because of tight financ-
es. If you are employed, you can inquire about whether your

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