Page 44 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

How To Survive Baby Loss

hat you do with your story and how much you involve
Wothers may depend on several factors: personality, qual-
ity of support, and your narrative about how grief is handled.
Perhaps you are an extrovert, and your grieving style is sharing
with anyone and everyone who would listen. Maybe as a nat-
ural introvert, your story sharing will be in the form of a blog,
social media posts on your reflections, or maybe you have even
considered writing a book. You can focus on a handful of peo-
ple to share your heart with or many people.
As you share, you will find that most people do not know
what to say or do. They can be silent or say things in an insensi-
tive manner. It’s important to not only share your story, but also
to be your own advocate in how others interact with you. It is
on them how they treat you. It’s on you to communicate how
they can interact with you in a way that you need. Be prepared
to ask for help and be prepared to communicate hurt feelings.
Let them know, “I love it when you say my child’s name.” When
they ask how you are doing, say, “I feel remembered when you
ask about how I’m doing.” Showing this appreciation helps
those in earshot take note of what you may need while you are
expressing being truly grateful for all the nuances of kindness.
You need to connect with other parents who know child loss.
They are in your corner like no one else, because they actually
understand what it is like. You have to be willing to search them
out, and then be there for your new friends. At times, you may
have to drag yourself from hibernation because in the long run,
connecting with your people is worth it. Join our private baby
and infant loss group here on Facebook at: Baby Loss Connec-
tion. Now is the time to look for your circle of support.

When someone goes out of their way to express and to show
you love and continues to do so, that is a relationship to be
cherished and appreciated. Make the hard decision to get out of
your comfortable isolation and connect. Apologize for that time
when you exploded at a family member. Three weeks after our
stillbirth. I had an instance like this. I blew up. I had tears, an-
ger and frustration. The person who was on the receiving end
was kind and gracious. They were understanding, and I am so

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