Page 39 - San Diego Woman interactive pdf

He Said She Said

Photos by Lisa K. Miller
Robert Judith A.
Tussey Habert

He Said She Said

The question today is, where are we now? As a First and foremost, I must say that I deeply appreciate the forward
nation? As a society? Equanimity? Sentience? I can thinking from my counterpart as in my experience not all men share the
only speak to what I see and what I have learned. same feelings as he does. Which makes me feel proud of the friendship that I
Regardless of party affiliation, we are seeing the last have with this very astute gentleman.
Boomers in political office. We are shattering walls Women deserve to be heard and our progress has been moving forward,
and ceilings on every turn. We are going to see more probably not at the speed it should, but at least, at last, in the right direction.
barriers falling. But will that be enough? Probably not. Somehow, when it feels that we have the momentum going, something
I can’t help but think the vision of a euphoric falls in our path that once again derails us. Unfortunately, women have been
future is still clouded. At the Seneca Falls Convention faced with one of these derailments not due to gender bias, but instead due
in 1848 Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Seneca to a deadly pandemic.
Falls Declaration that outlined the new feminist Of course, the fear of Covid-19 effects both the male and female gender,
movement’s ideology. A glimmer of hope. This was the but unfortunately it seems to have hit women quite a bit harder than men.
first wave of feminism. The second wave took place Not the disease itself, but the ramifications of this horrific virus which has
in the 1960s. It was more aggressive and much more shut our country and most of the world down for the past 12 months.
organized and lit a flame that fired up suburban When it comes to childcare, we all know that this generally falls to the
America to a new class of powerful women. Another female of the household to handle. Why, well is it just the norm, or the fact
glimmer of hope. that women are the nurturing presence in our lives. When we are sick, rarely
The third wave began in the nineties and gave do any of us recall asking for Daddy. When we are sick, we all, both boys
way to the fourth wave in the twenty-tens. Glimmers and girls, or be it men and women still feel the comfort of being snuggled in
of hope and some ceiling busting but still no real our mother’s arms and the sounds of her calming whispers in our ears that
movement. Yes, women were in positions of power we will be okay. Husbands have learned this tool and are often there to make
in the boardrooms and became the majority of us feel better, serving as our protectors. When it comes to children though, is
entrepreneurs in the last fifteen years but personally, I there ever truly a substitute for a mother’s hug and a proclamation that “You
couldn’t get over the notion that those layers of upward will be fine.”
change were too slow (as a man, do I get to say that?). Add to this the latest factor which is the closure of schools, childcare
We know why. We know who. And the shaky legs of requirements, and distance learning for our children. Many women have
that monopolization are crumbling. A bigger glimmer. been forced to quit jobs in order to stay at home with our children. I am sure
But we’re not there yet. This isn’t a political screed or in some cases men took on this role, but that is the exception rather than
exercise in finger pointing - that would be too easy. the norm. Those women who had jobs that could be done from home had
Optimism comes with a price: Wages paid against it a bit easier, though working around a household of bored, and sometimes
the future. Pessimism is a price too low for the job screaming, children did not end up being a workable arrangement.
ahead of us all. So here we are again. Facing the fact that many of the gains we made in
At seventy I have seen and witnessed history recent years, were lost through no fault of our own. Can we come back from
on myriad levels. At times I just wanted to hide this? We are all hoping our country is on the mend and sooner than later we
because it was (simply) overwhelming. I have been will see life back to what we used to consider “normal,” but the real questions
uncomfortable and excitedly eager for the growth. is how long will it take women to gain back all that was lost to them during
There comes a point of clarity where we must take this pandemic. The jobs that are no longer there for them to go back to
inventory and root out the old and substantiate the whether it be that they were replaced with childless women, or that their
new. It’s time for the boomers to get out of the way for workplace could not withstand the economic losses of extended closures and
the young idealists that will change the course of our were forced to shut their doors.
history. Still, we see the glimmer of hope that we can get back on the right path to
gaining headway in the search for equality. We can only hope!

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