Page 10 - Pure Coaching Magazine - Issue 1

Do You Compare

Yourself To Others?

By Michelle Reeves

That comparison creates a ‘gap’ between us
There's a famous quote - "Comparison is the
and the other person, and the thoughts we
thief of joy."
then have about that gap can be positive ("If
they can do this, so can I!") or negative ("I'll
When was the last time you compared
never be as good as them...")
yourself with someone else? How did it make
you feel about yourself... about them?
When the thoughts are negative, we often feel
envious and resentful too. And that can spiral
It's actually completely normal to wonder how
into us feeling very negatively about ourselves
we compare to other people. In psychological
(perhaps leading to quitting) AND the person
terms, this drive is part of our basic desire to
we were comparing with... even if we don't
understand ourselves and our place in the
even know them! ("Who does she think she is
social world.
anyway? I never liked her... ")
When we lived as part of a tribe it was
But the important thing to remember is that
important for survival because we needed to
know where we stood. At that time if we were most comparisons we make with other
people aren’t based on reality - we don't know
all throwing our handbags about, wanting to
lead the tribe there would be lots of fighting the whole story so our imagination fills in the
detail.
and not enough surviving.

As Steve Furtick says, “The reason we struggle
We're not in survival mode anymore but those
drives still exist within us and if our self-worth with insecurity is because we compare our
behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s
and self-confidence are a bit low we’re more
likely to look outside of ourselves for a highlight reel.”
comparison to validate how we feel; “How
good or bad am I?”

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