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· The degree to which you deliberately look for the good in each person and each situation.
· The degree to which you can freely forgive people who have hurt you in some way.
· The degree to which you can get along easily with many different kinds of people.
· The degree to which you like and respect yourself. The more you like and respect yourself,
the more you will like and respect others.
· The degree to which you consider yourself to be a valuable and worthwhile person, the
more you will consider others to be valuable and worthwhile as well.
· The more you accept yourself just as you are, the more you accept others just as they are.
· The degree to which you have high levels of self-esteem will determine the level to which
you will get along with al-most anyone, anywhere and in almost any situation. Men and
women with low self-esteem can only get along with a few people, and can’t seem to
maintain it for very long. Their low self-regard manifests itself in negative emotions and
behaviours. They don't like them-selves so they don't really like the intrusion of others
outside of their comfort zone. As a result, people don't warm to them very much either.
· The degree to which you can become an agreeable individual to be around, able to
converse on a variety of subjects, nodding and smiling with those you are talking to will
affect how positively your personality is viewed. People like agreeable people.
Disagreeable people lower the self esteem of people they encounter, and the tendency is
set up in opposition to them or simply avoid them. "A man convinced against his will
remains of the same opinion still." This does not mean you should become a “Yes-man”,
there are more diplomatic and gentle ways of getting someone to re-assess his view or
opinion, without damaging their self-esteem.
· A characteristic that displays a healthy personality and also builds the self esteem of others
is to practice acceptance. From birth, we humans have needed acceptance, and this
carries forward into adulthood and our human relationships. We have an inbuilt need to be
accepted (not necessarily approved of) by others that we meet. This is a good practice to
get into for both parties in the relationship.
· Never underestimate the power of your smile. It is the best form of universal social
acceptance known to man. Smiling displays acceptance which in turn boosts the self
esteem of all who receive it. It costs you nothing and yet can reap so much in return, not
least of which is a healthier personality even more attractive for the human relationships
you want to have.
· The power of appreciation, an attitude of gratitude goes a long way to foster healthy
relationships and build healthier personalities. A simple thank-you raises the self-esteem of
others immeasurably. The happiest and most pop-ular people are those who genuinely
express appreciation and gratitude for the things that happen to them and for everyone
they meet. The power of attraction dictates that the more you express appreciation, the
more things will appear in your life to be thankful for.
· The expression of genuine approval, when you feel it, is one of the most effective ways of
enhancing the self-esteem of others. Whilst it is true that the only approval you really need
is your own, it is human nature to feel uplifted when we receive unsolicited praise and
approval from others. When you give approval, you receive it in return, as with all the other
healthy personality traits we have detailed here.
· Whenever you sincerely admire someone for something they have accomplished, express
it. Admiration is one of those feelings that, because of conditioning, we often find difficulty
expressing. Our sub conscious minds know this, and when someone expresses genuine
admiration for our accomplishments, we not only feel proud of ourselves, but our respect
for the person expressing it soars. It is as if we know that a degree of courage is required to
express it sincerely. That only makes us appreciate the gesture and the person that much
more.