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them what you want. What do they need that you have? What do you need that they have? What
could you do for them outside this conflict that could allow them to give up something you need now
in return? How can you turn this into a win for both of you? Adopt a positive attitude; strike a bargain.

11. Committing blunders? Navigate the political terrain. Organizations are a complex maze of
constituencies, politics, issues, and rivalries. They’re peopled by strong egos, sensitive personalities,
and empire protectors. Most are decentralized and compartmentalized, which in itself sets up natural
conflict. Avoid causing unnecessary conflict by working to understand the politics of the organization.
Who are the movers and shakers in the organization? Who are the major gatekeepers who control
the flow of resources, information, and decisions? Who are the guides and the helpers? Get to know
them better. Do lunch. Who are the major resisters and stoppers? Either avoid them or sidestep them
or make peace with them. Consider the level of the people you’re dealing with. What will they respond
positively to? What are the potential pitfalls? How do you need to adapt your approach?

12. Caught in a win/lose predicament? Seek cooperative relationships. The opposite of conflict is
cooperation. Developing cooperative relationships involves demonstrating real and perceived equity.
Focus on ensuring that the other side feels understood and respected. Take a solution-oriented
viewpoint and approach. Don’t try to win every battle and take all the spoils; focus on finding some
common ground. Look for opportunities to collaborate. Find wins on both sides. Give in on small
points. Avoid starting with an entrenched position; show respect for the other person and their
position. Work to reduce any remaining conflicts as much as possible.

13. Standing firm on your position? Be open to changing your mind. When it comes to finding
solutions, generating a variety of possibilities is more useful than staking out a rigid position. When
you’re framing a disagreement, state your position and explain your thinking, but stay open to
possibilities you hadn’t considered. Encourage dialogue. It may surface opposing rationale,
counterevidence, or ideas that you wouldn’t be able to spot alone. Engaging in disagreements or
conflicts where you show willingness to change your mind is not a point of weakness. It’s part of
being a reasonable, level-headed person. Your willingness to concede on certain things builds a
climate of cooperation and trust. And cooperative, trusting relationships are less likely to experience a
stalemate.

14. Hopelessly stuck? Go to arbitration. When there is a true impasse, suggest an equal-power third
party to resolve the conflict. Use a third party to write up each side’s interests and keep suggesting
solutions until you can agree. Or, if time is an issue, pass it on to a higher authority. Present both
sides calmly and objectively and let the chips fall where they may.

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